Hello Mudda, Hello Faddah

Hello Muddah. Hello Faddah.
Here I am at Camp Grenada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner

All the counselors hate the waiters
and the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
so he reads to us from something called "Ulysses"

Now I don't want, this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah
Take me home, I hate Grenada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home, I promise I will not
make noise or mess the house with other boys
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest Faddah. Darling Muddah.
How's my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's bettah
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this lettah