Fallout Boy

Drooling as he cums into his closed fist
Watching his neighbour Dana undress from behind his Spider-Man curtain
Kade watches his crush every night from his bedroom
window using a pair of binoculars dad scored at a garage sale
Kade is a very simple man
He likes to watch all the cartoons
His favourite are superheroes
He desires to become one
Kade has been concocting a master
plan to bring himself and Dana together
Realisation that he must do something heroic and save her life
But his plan has a snag, he has no super sick super powers to speak of
Until he recently watched the Simpson's
Radioactive man
Chain link fence broken with bolt cutters
Security bypassed with a keycard he swiped from the bench
Kade makes his way through the maze
Following the correct signs he
eventually finds his way to the nuclear waste
Telltale trefoil
Dumping its contents on the ground
Gleefully he dives in

He wakes up feeling a new man
Smashes out his morning wank but spots Dana at the bus stop
Quickly gets dressed, undies on the outside, Kade walks over
"Hi Dana, I'm a hero"
"Sure you are"
A junkie comes by and pulls out a knife, demanding their valuables
"Gimme ya shit!"
This is now his chance to impress Dana
He gets up, shoving old mate back out onto the road
The crackhead rushes at Kade with the blade
connecting with his stomach but he remains unfazed
"What the fuck?"
With his newfound invincibility, he lashes out and smashes the druggie
Lucky right hook scons his jaw, he's out cold
Like a sack of shit he hits the floor
Dana leans in for a quick pash
Kade's lip detaches off into her mouth
The rest of his face follows through and splats
It seems he got more than what he bargained for