Epic Rap Battle
๐ต 3229 characters
โฑ๏ธ 3:10 duration
๐ ID: 1962332
๐ Lyrics
Link: First off I wanna tell ya I enjoyed the pizza
Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
I'd like your number
But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it
Rhett: That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it
23 percent from me communicates
I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate
Link: Is she supposed to be impressed?
Rhett: Well if you want a battle be my guest
Link: I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller
I disabled Spell Check cuz I'm a stellar speller
When I write an email that includes an attachment
I never hit "send" before I've attached it
Rhett: Your job is a bore
I keep it hard core
Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door
You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration
Rhett: May I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
Rhett: Egg slicer
Link: I car pool
Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventitive
Rhett: It's inventive, inventitive isn't a word
Link: Yeah I just inventited it, you just got served
Rhett: Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders
On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables
See I'm a role model, an example to the youth
Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
Link: At the gym people line up just to give me a spot
All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat
My career Plan B is to teach P.E
The model on the machine is based on me
Rhett: I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
Workin' every muscle group through meditation
This is me workin' out my triceps
Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
Link: My sense of style, is sweet like syrup
It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe
Rhett: I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year
Rhett: Is that all you got?
Link: No
Link: I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you
Rhett: I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say
Link: Then say something clever
Rhett: Uh, ok
Link: I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
But I turned it down and became the president's karaoke czar
Rhett: I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet
Link: I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky
Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby
Rhett: I'm allergic to nothin'
Link: I'm allergic to weakness
Rhett: I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses
Link: I can drive a stick shift
Rhett: Well I can golf
Link: Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off
Rhett: I invented the Half Nelson
Link: I invented the Full Nelson!
Rhett: I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin
Link: My uncle is a lawyer!
Rhett: I roll my own sushi!
Link: I use the metric system exclusively!
Rhett: I know Morse code!
Link: Well I can speak it:
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
Rhett: You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized
Link: Exactly
Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
I'd like your number
But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it
Rhett: That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it
23 percent from me communicates
I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate
Link: Is she supposed to be impressed?
Rhett: Well if you want a battle be my guest
Link: I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller
I disabled Spell Check cuz I'm a stellar speller
When I write an email that includes an attachment
I never hit "send" before I've attached it
Rhett: Your job is a bore
I keep it hard core
Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door
You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration
Rhett: May I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
Rhett: Egg slicer
Link: I car pool
Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventitive
Rhett: It's inventive, inventitive isn't a word
Link: Yeah I just inventited it, you just got served
Rhett: Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders
On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables
See I'm a role model, an example to the youth
Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
Link: At the gym people line up just to give me a spot
All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat
My career Plan B is to teach P.E
The model on the machine is based on me
Rhett: I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
Workin' every muscle group through meditation
This is me workin' out my triceps
Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
Link: My sense of style, is sweet like syrup
It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe
Rhett: I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year
Rhett: Is that all you got?
Link: No
Link: I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you
Rhett: I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say
Link: Then say something clever
Rhett: Uh, ok
Link: I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
But I turned it down and became the president's karaoke czar
Rhett: I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet
Link: I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky
Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby
Rhett: I'm allergic to nothin'
Link: I'm allergic to weakness
Rhett: I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses
Link: I can drive a stick shift
Rhett: Well I can golf
Link: Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off
Rhett: I invented the Half Nelson
Link: I invented the Full Nelson!
Rhett: I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin
Link: My uncle is a lawyer!
Rhett: I roll my own sushi!
Link: I use the metric system exclusively!
Rhett: I know Morse code!
Link: Well I can speak it:
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
Rhett: You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized
Link: Exactly
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:05.09] Link: First off I wanna tell ya I enjoyed the pizza
[00:07.19] Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
[00:09.83] I'd like your number
[00:10.80] But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it
[00:12.46] Rhett: That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it
[00:15.29] 23 percent from me communicates
[00:17.77] I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate
[00:20.39] Link: Is she supposed to be impressed?
[00:22.14] Rhett: Well if you want a battle be my guest
[00:25.80] Link: I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller
[00:28.11] I disabled Spell Check cuz I'm a stellar speller
[00:31.09] When I write an email that includes an attachment
[00:33.61] I never hit "send" before I've attached it
[00:36.32] Rhett: Your job is a bore
[00:37.50] I keep it hard core
[00:38.73] Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door
[00:41.35] You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
[00:44.10] I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration
[00:46.72] Rhett: May I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
[00:50.42] Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
[00:52.05] Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
[00:54.92] Rhett: Egg slicer
[00:56.46] Link: I car pool
[00:57.60] Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
[00:59.59] I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventitive
[01:02.35] Rhett: It's inventive, inventitive isn't a word
[01:04.88] Link: Yeah I just inventited it, you just got served
[01:07.39] Rhett: Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders
[01:09.85] On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables
[01:12.74] See I'm a role model, an example to the youth
[01:15.35] Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
[01:17.94] Link: At the gym people line up just to give me a spot
[01:20.44] All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat
[01:22.98] My career Plan B is to teach P.E
[01:25.44] The model on the machine is based on me
[01:28.31] Rhett: I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
[01:31.27] Workin' every muscle group through meditation
[01:33.82] This is me workin' out my triceps
[01:35.72] Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
[01:39.14] Link: My sense of style, is sweet like syrup
[01:41.56] It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe
[01:44.07] Rhett: I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
[01:46.79] See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year
[01:49.08] Rhett: Is that all you got?
[02:09.02] Link: No
[02:10.12] Link: I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
[02:12.68] If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you
[02:15.19] Rhett: I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say
[02:18.00] Link: Then say something clever
[02:18.90] Rhett: Uh, ok
[02:20.06] Link: I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
[02:22.53] But I turned it down and became the president's karaoke czar
[02:25.66] Rhett: I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
[02:28.22] And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet
[02:30.75] Link: I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky
[02:33.35] Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby
[02:36.48] Rhett: I'm allergic to nothin'
[02:37.57] Link: I'm allergic to weakness
[02:38.76] Rhett: I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses
[02:41.37] Link: I can drive a stick shift
[02:42.86] Rhett: Well I can golf
[02:44.12] Link: Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off
[02:46.71] Rhett: I invented the Half Nelson
[02:47.85] Link: I invented the Full Nelson!
[02:49.14] Rhett: I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin
[02:51.78] Link: My uncle is a lawyer!
[02:53.25] Rhett: I roll my own sushi!
[02:54.59] Link: I use the metric system exclusively!
[02:56.52] Rhett: I know Morse code!
[02:57.78] Link: Well I can speak it:
[02:58.43] Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
[03:03.08] Rhett: You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized
[03:06.25] Link: Exactly
[03:07.23]
[00:07.19] Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meet-cha
[00:09.83] I'd like your number
[00:10.80] But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it
[00:12.46] Rhett: That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it
[00:15.29] 23 percent from me communicates
[00:17.77] I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate
[00:20.39] Link: Is she supposed to be impressed?
[00:22.14] Rhett: Well if you want a battle be my guest
[00:25.80] Link: I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller
[00:28.11] I disabled Spell Check cuz I'm a stellar speller
[00:31.09] When I write an email that includes an attachment
[00:33.61] I never hit "send" before I've attached it
[00:36.32] Rhett: Your job is a bore
[00:37.50] I keep it hard core
[00:38.73] Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door
[00:41.35] You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
[00:44.10] I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration
[00:46.72] Rhett: May I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
[00:50.42] Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
[00:52.05] Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene
[00:54.92] Rhett: Egg slicer
[00:56.46] Link: I car pool
[00:57.60] Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
[00:59.59] I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventitive
[01:02.35] Rhett: It's inventive, inventitive isn't a word
[01:04.88] Link: Yeah I just inventited it, you just got served
[01:07.39] Rhett: Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders
[01:09.85] On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables
[01:12.74] See I'm a role model, an example to the youth
[01:15.35] Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
[01:17.94] Link: At the gym people line up just to give me a spot
[01:20.44] All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat
[01:22.98] My career Plan B is to teach P.E
[01:25.44] The model on the machine is based on me
[01:28.31] Rhett: I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
[01:31.27] Workin' every muscle group through meditation
[01:33.82] This is me workin' out my triceps
[01:35.72] Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
[01:39.14] Link: My sense of style, is sweet like syrup
[01:41.56] It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe
[01:44.07] Rhett: I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
[01:46.79] See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year
[01:49.08] Rhett: Is that all you got?
[02:09.02] Link: No
[02:10.12] Link: I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
[02:12.68] If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you
[02:15.19] Rhett: I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say
[02:18.00] Link: Then say something clever
[02:18.90] Rhett: Uh, ok
[02:20.06] Link: I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
[02:22.53] But I turned it down and became the president's karaoke czar
[02:25.66] Rhett: I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
[02:28.22] And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet
[02:30.75] Link: I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky
[02:33.35] Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby
[02:36.48] Rhett: I'm allergic to nothin'
[02:37.57] Link: I'm allergic to weakness
[02:38.76] Rhett: I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses
[02:41.37] Link: I can drive a stick shift
[02:42.86] Rhett: Well I can golf
[02:44.12] Link: Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off
[02:46.71] Rhett: I invented the Half Nelson
[02:47.85] Link: I invented the Full Nelson!
[02:49.14] Rhett: I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin
[02:51.78] Link: My uncle is a lawyer!
[02:53.25] Rhett: I roll my own sushi!
[02:54.59] Link: I use the metric system exclusively!
[02:56.52] Rhett: I know Morse code!
[02:57.78] Link: Well I can speak it:
[02:58.43] Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
[03:03.08] Rhett: You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized
[03:06.25] Link: Exactly
[03:07.23]