The Jealous Bartender
๐ต 3559 characters
โฑ๏ธ 4:15 duration
๐ ID: 20048616
๐ Lyrics
A friend of mine lives near me where I live
He woke up one morning with a black eye
And he asked his wife, he said, how did this happen?
She said, well, it was last night while you were sleeping
You put your arms on my leg and your hand on my leg
And said, my, what a smooth finish
Then you reach further and say what perfect headlights
And then you reach still further and said, who left the garage door open?
She said, that's how you got that black eye
And a guy walked in the bar, sat down, he was thirsty
As soon as he sat down, he looked down at the other end of the bar
There was a beautiful chick sitting down there, and she was all looking good
And he looked down at her
His eyes almost leaned out on his cheeks
The bartender looked at him and said, now listen, buddy, let's get this straight
That's my girl, so I don't want you to get no ideas
This guy said, who me?
I don't have no ideas
I only came in for a drink
Give me a piece of beer
And it was a newly wedded couple, they were checking out at a motel
And they stopped to pay the bill, and the clerk said, well, you ready to pay the bill?
He said, yes, and how much will it be?
And the clerk said, well, that'll be $3 a piece
And the husband looked up in the ceiling for a while and thought
He said, oh, yeah, well, that'll be $21
Another guy went fishing, he went fishing with his buddy
He went fishing with his girl first though but while he was out fishing with his buddy
His buddy asked him, said listen you went fishing with your girl yesterday did you catch anything?
He said I don't know yet
Then there was a guy in the craze asylum
He went before the board to see if he'd get a release
And they were sitting there and asking him a few questions
He said, look, what would you do if we released you?
This guy said, I would get outside and make me a slingshot and break every wind out this joint
So, they put him back in the cage and left him there for another year
He came out, the board met, and they sat him down, asked him a few more questions
See if it was time to release him
He said, now, if we let you out today, what would you do?
He said, I'd go get me a slingshot and stand out front and knock every window out this joint
So, they put him back for another year, and the next year he came out
And the board met, he walked before him
He said, now, if we release you today, what would you do?
He said, well, I'd go outside and get me a good job and buy me a Cadillac
And meet me a nice girl, and we'd go out riding in the country
And while we were out riding, we'd drive right out here where we are now
And I'd raise her dress up and take the garter off her stocking and make me a slingshot
And break every dam window out of here
I guess you can see the suit I have on here is a surprise from my wife
I came home unexpected last night and that was on the chair
I'm writing a song that should be released real soon
It's called, If the bed breaks down, I'll see you in the spring
I saw in the paper yesterday where a woman truck driver swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed
Then I was in the movies watching one of those Academy Award pictures
And there's so much fuss going on behind me
I didn't bother to look back, but pretty soon the girl was sitting there in the movies behind me
Said, look out there now, hands off Columbus, you discovered enough already
There was a fellow who told his wife, he said
Look, baby, you know, you're getting kind of big now
You weigh 270 something, so you're getting kind of big
You better diet
She said, well, what color is it now?
He woke up one morning with a black eye
And he asked his wife, he said, how did this happen?
She said, well, it was last night while you were sleeping
You put your arms on my leg and your hand on my leg
And said, my, what a smooth finish
Then you reach further and say what perfect headlights
And then you reach still further and said, who left the garage door open?
She said, that's how you got that black eye
And a guy walked in the bar, sat down, he was thirsty
As soon as he sat down, he looked down at the other end of the bar
There was a beautiful chick sitting down there, and she was all looking good
And he looked down at her
His eyes almost leaned out on his cheeks
The bartender looked at him and said, now listen, buddy, let's get this straight
That's my girl, so I don't want you to get no ideas
This guy said, who me?
I don't have no ideas
I only came in for a drink
Give me a piece of beer
And it was a newly wedded couple, they were checking out at a motel
And they stopped to pay the bill, and the clerk said, well, you ready to pay the bill?
He said, yes, and how much will it be?
And the clerk said, well, that'll be $3 a piece
And the husband looked up in the ceiling for a while and thought
He said, oh, yeah, well, that'll be $21
Another guy went fishing, he went fishing with his buddy
He went fishing with his girl first though but while he was out fishing with his buddy
His buddy asked him, said listen you went fishing with your girl yesterday did you catch anything?
He said I don't know yet
Then there was a guy in the craze asylum
He went before the board to see if he'd get a release
And they were sitting there and asking him a few questions
He said, look, what would you do if we released you?
This guy said, I would get outside and make me a slingshot and break every wind out this joint
So, they put him back in the cage and left him there for another year
He came out, the board met, and they sat him down, asked him a few more questions
See if it was time to release him
He said, now, if we let you out today, what would you do?
He said, I'd go get me a slingshot and stand out front and knock every window out this joint
So, they put him back for another year, and the next year he came out
And the board met, he walked before him
He said, now, if we release you today, what would you do?
He said, well, I'd go outside and get me a good job and buy me a Cadillac
And meet me a nice girl, and we'd go out riding in the country
And while we were out riding, we'd drive right out here where we are now
And I'd raise her dress up and take the garter off her stocking and make me a slingshot
And break every dam window out of here
I guess you can see the suit I have on here is a surprise from my wife
I came home unexpected last night and that was on the chair
I'm writing a song that should be released real soon
It's called, If the bed breaks down, I'll see you in the spring
I saw in the paper yesterday where a woman truck driver swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed
Then I was in the movies watching one of those Academy Award pictures
And there's so much fuss going on behind me
I didn't bother to look back, but pretty soon the girl was sitting there in the movies behind me
Said, look out there now, hands off Columbus, you discovered enough already
There was a fellow who told his wife, he said
Look, baby, you know, you're getting kind of big now
You weigh 270 something, so you're getting kind of big
You better diet
She said, well, what color is it now?
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:01.95] A friend of mine lives near me where I live
[00:06.25] He woke up one morning with a black eye
[00:09.40] And he asked his wife, he said, how did this happen?
[00:12.20] She said, well, it was last night while you were sleeping
[00:14.32] You put your arms on my leg and your hand on my leg
[00:17.09] And said, my, what a smooth finish
[00:20.85] Then you reach further and say what perfect headlights
[00:26.33] And then you reach still further and said, who left the garage door open?
[00:35.41] She said, that's how you got that black eye
[00:39.63] And a guy walked in the bar, sat down, he was thirsty
[00:45.29] As soon as he sat down, he looked down at the other end of the bar
[00:47.18] There was a beautiful chick sitting down there, and she was all looking good
[00:50.06] And he looked down at her
[00:51.24] His eyes almost leaned out on his cheeks
[00:53.71] The bartender looked at him and said, now listen, buddy, let's get this straight
[00:57.15] That's my girl, so I don't want you to get no ideas
[00:59.50] This guy said, who me?
[01:01.08] I don't have no ideas
[01:03.87] I only came in for a drink
[01:05.58] Give me a piece of beer
[01:11.84] And it was a newly wedded couple, they were checking out at a motel
[01:15.68] And they stopped to pay the bill, and the clerk said, well, you ready to pay the bill?
[01:19.23] He said, yes, and how much will it be?
[01:20.75] And the clerk said, well, that'll be $3 a piece
[01:23.17] And the husband looked up in the ceiling for a while and thought
[01:26.62] He said, oh, yeah, well, that'll be $21
[01:35.36] Another guy went fishing, he went fishing with his buddy
[01:40.05] He went fishing with his girl first though but while he was out fishing with his buddy
[01:43.83] His buddy asked him, said listen you went fishing with your girl yesterday did you catch anything?
[01:47.38] He said I don't know yet
[01:51.85] Then there was a guy in the craze asylum
[01:53.90] He went before the board to see if he'd get a release
[01:57.63] And they were sitting there and asking him a few questions
[02:00.24] He said, look, what would you do if we released you?
[02:01.99] This guy said, I would get outside and make me a slingshot and break every wind out this joint
[02:08.65] So, they put him back in the cage and left him there for another year
[02:11.84] He came out, the board met, and they sat him down, asked him a few more questions
[02:17.74] See if it was time to release him
[02:18.78] He said, now, if we let you out today, what would you do?
[02:21.76] He said, I'd go get me a slingshot and stand out front and knock every window out this joint
[02:27.06] So, they put him back for another year, and the next year he came out
[02:30.18] And the board met, he walked before him
[02:32.42] He said, now, if we release you today, what would you do?
[02:35.61] He said, well, I'd go outside and get me a good job and buy me a Cadillac
[02:40.12] And meet me a nice girl, and we'd go out riding in the country
[02:44.24] And while we were out riding, we'd drive right out here where we are now
[02:48.97] And I'd raise her dress up and take the garter off her stocking and make me a slingshot
[02:56.22] And break every dam window out of here
[03:05.73] I guess you can see the suit I have on here is a surprise from my wife
[03:10.44] I came home unexpected last night and that was on the chair
[03:20.02] I'm writing a song that should be released real soon
[03:22.57] It's called, If the bed breaks down, I'll see you in the spring
[03:30.82] I saw in the paper yesterday where a woman truck driver swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed
[03:41.63] Then I was in the movies watching one of those Academy Award pictures
[03:45.04] And there's so much fuss going on behind me
[03:46.69] I didn't bother to look back, but pretty soon the girl was sitting there in the movies behind me
[03:50.16] Said, look out there now, hands off Columbus, you discovered enough already
[03:56.39] There was a fellow who told his wife, he said
[03:58.85] Look, baby, you know, you're getting kind of big now
[04:00.60] You weigh 270 something, so you're getting kind of big
[04:04.78] You better diet
[04:05.98] She said, well, what color is it now?
[04:08.59]
[00:06.25] He woke up one morning with a black eye
[00:09.40] And he asked his wife, he said, how did this happen?
[00:12.20] She said, well, it was last night while you were sleeping
[00:14.32] You put your arms on my leg and your hand on my leg
[00:17.09] And said, my, what a smooth finish
[00:20.85] Then you reach further and say what perfect headlights
[00:26.33] And then you reach still further and said, who left the garage door open?
[00:35.41] She said, that's how you got that black eye
[00:39.63] And a guy walked in the bar, sat down, he was thirsty
[00:45.29] As soon as he sat down, he looked down at the other end of the bar
[00:47.18] There was a beautiful chick sitting down there, and she was all looking good
[00:50.06] And he looked down at her
[00:51.24] His eyes almost leaned out on his cheeks
[00:53.71] The bartender looked at him and said, now listen, buddy, let's get this straight
[00:57.15] That's my girl, so I don't want you to get no ideas
[00:59.50] This guy said, who me?
[01:01.08] I don't have no ideas
[01:03.87] I only came in for a drink
[01:05.58] Give me a piece of beer
[01:11.84] And it was a newly wedded couple, they were checking out at a motel
[01:15.68] And they stopped to pay the bill, and the clerk said, well, you ready to pay the bill?
[01:19.23] He said, yes, and how much will it be?
[01:20.75] And the clerk said, well, that'll be $3 a piece
[01:23.17] And the husband looked up in the ceiling for a while and thought
[01:26.62] He said, oh, yeah, well, that'll be $21
[01:35.36] Another guy went fishing, he went fishing with his buddy
[01:40.05] He went fishing with his girl first though but while he was out fishing with his buddy
[01:43.83] His buddy asked him, said listen you went fishing with your girl yesterday did you catch anything?
[01:47.38] He said I don't know yet
[01:51.85] Then there was a guy in the craze asylum
[01:53.90] He went before the board to see if he'd get a release
[01:57.63] And they were sitting there and asking him a few questions
[02:00.24] He said, look, what would you do if we released you?
[02:01.99] This guy said, I would get outside and make me a slingshot and break every wind out this joint
[02:08.65] So, they put him back in the cage and left him there for another year
[02:11.84] He came out, the board met, and they sat him down, asked him a few more questions
[02:17.74] See if it was time to release him
[02:18.78] He said, now, if we let you out today, what would you do?
[02:21.76] He said, I'd go get me a slingshot and stand out front and knock every window out this joint
[02:27.06] So, they put him back for another year, and the next year he came out
[02:30.18] And the board met, he walked before him
[02:32.42] He said, now, if we release you today, what would you do?
[02:35.61] He said, well, I'd go outside and get me a good job and buy me a Cadillac
[02:40.12] And meet me a nice girl, and we'd go out riding in the country
[02:44.24] And while we were out riding, we'd drive right out here where we are now
[02:48.97] And I'd raise her dress up and take the garter off her stocking and make me a slingshot
[02:56.22] And break every dam window out of here
[03:05.73] I guess you can see the suit I have on here is a surprise from my wife
[03:10.44] I came home unexpected last night and that was on the chair
[03:20.02] I'm writing a song that should be released real soon
[03:22.57] It's called, If the bed breaks down, I'll see you in the spring
[03:30.82] I saw in the paper yesterday where a woman truck driver swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed
[03:41.63] Then I was in the movies watching one of those Academy Award pictures
[03:45.04] And there's so much fuss going on behind me
[03:46.69] I didn't bother to look back, but pretty soon the girl was sitting there in the movies behind me
[03:50.16] Said, look out there now, hands off Columbus, you discovered enough already
[03:56.39] There was a fellow who told his wife, he said
[03:58.85] Look, baby, you know, you're getting kind of big now
[04:00.60] You weigh 270 something, so you're getting kind of big
[04:04.78] You better diet
[04:05.98] She said, well, what color is it now?
[04:08.59]