Self Decay

When I close my eyes, you're there every time
The realisation that I failed you and I'm the one to blame
How I hate myself for the hell I put you through
Now I see what leaving did to you
Who am I without regret?
And how do I correct the mistakes I've made?
What will it take to break this cycle of self-decay?
Selfish and I proved it I left you in need and I knew it

And I can't bring myself to talk about it, how I failed (how I failed) How I never looked back
How I took the easy escape from what we had
Deep down I know I was the one setting myself up to fall (deep down I know)

My answers are questions
Lead me through my mental streams
A seeded lie, and faults are mine
Counting candles I decline
Saluting my own mind
Its a fight to find my sovereignty

Choosing to find a way born often here
I wade through the fiction, I find that I am alive

I hope somehow these words make their way back to you
Know that I always cared, that I'm still thinking of you
Where do I turn when I can't turn back to you?
Where do I stand if it's not next to you?

Next to you