Achmed - Terror Claus, Achmed's Dog
๐ต 2397 characters
โฑ๏ธ 4:34 duration
๐ ID: 22695918
๐ Lyrics
You do seem like you've been in a pretty good mood lately
Do you know why?
No
Because like Santa Claus, I had been making a list of people to kill twice
Santa doesn't kill people
He does with his terror claws
Terror claws? I've never heard of them
Oh, he kills you when you're sleeping
He chokes you when you wake
He knows if you are Catholic or Jew
So denounce your infidel faith
That's terrible, but catchy!
Have you heard of the Terror Bunny?
No
He hides Easter bombs
Look, Mommy
That's even worse
I know, thank you for noticing
What, do you want more stinking knock knock jokes?
That might be better
Okay, knock knock
Who's there?
Me, I kill you again
You're such an idiot, you keep answering the door
Where I am from, the game we teach our children is when someone says knock knock, you shut the fuck up and hide
So Achmed, did your parents have much to do with what you do now?
Well, uh, I guess so. My father was a suicide bomber
Oh, so you guys are a lot alike?
Well, I have his eyes. In a box
And I like to hide them wherever Walter is sleeping
That way when he wakes up, it scares the crap out of him
You son of a bitch, I'll kick your ass right now
Is that case locked from the outside?
Yeah, why?
'Cause he still scares the crap out of me!
So, Ahmed, do you have any good memories of your father?
Uh, for my eighth birthday, he got me a puppy
That's good
No, it turned into a disaster
Why?
Because sometimes my father was a very confused man
And that day, my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons
Yeah, and that's how I got a dog with no legs
You had a dog with no legs?
Yeah, he was great
I had him for many years
Oh, so what'd you call him?
Seriously?
Seriously?
What?
I had a dog with no legs
What did you call him?
Seriously?
Okay, you're a comedian, right?
Yeah?
I had a dog with no legs
Ask me again
What'd you call him?
I didn't call him anything because he could never come
It's not funny!
Agra, that's like the oldest joke ever
Yes, but in my case, it was true
Thanks
Could he do any tricks?
He could roll over!
It's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline, he couldn't stop himself!
He'd look like a runaway can of Pinto beans rolling down a hill!
It was the only time I ever saw a cat actually laugh!
Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! meow
What was that?
I killed the fucking cat!
Do you know why?
No
Because like Santa Claus, I had been making a list of people to kill twice
Santa doesn't kill people
He does with his terror claws
Terror claws? I've never heard of them
Oh, he kills you when you're sleeping
He chokes you when you wake
He knows if you are Catholic or Jew
So denounce your infidel faith
That's terrible, but catchy!
Have you heard of the Terror Bunny?
No
He hides Easter bombs
Look, Mommy
That's even worse
I know, thank you for noticing
What, do you want more stinking knock knock jokes?
That might be better
Okay, knock knock
Who's there?
Me, I kill you again
You're such an idiot, you keep answering the door
Where I am from, the game we teach our children is when someone says knock knock, you shut the fuck up and hide
So Achmed, did your parents have much to do with what you do now?
Well, uh, I guess so. My father was a suicide bomber
Oh, so you guys are a lot alike?
Well, I have his eyes. In a box
And I like to hide them wherever Walter is sleeping
That way when he wakes up, it scares the crap out of him
You son of a bitch, I'll kick your ass right now
Is that case locked from the outside?
Yeah, why?
'Cause he still scares the crap out of me!
So, Ahmed, do you have any good memories of your father?
Uh, for my eighth birthday, he got me a puppy
That's good
No, it turned into a disaster
Why?
Because sometimes my father was a very confused man
And that day, my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons
Yeah, and that's how I got a dog with no legs
You had a dog with no legs?
Yeah, he was great
I had him for many years
Oh, so what'd you call him?
Seriously?
Seriously?
What?
I had a dog with no legs
What did you call him?
Seriously?
Okay, you're a comedian, right?
Yeah?
I had a dog with no legs
Ask me again
What'd you call him?
I didn't call him anything because he could never come
It's not funny!
Agra, that's like the oldest joke ever
Yes, but in my case, it was true
Thanks
Could he do any tricks?
He could roll over!
It's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline, he couldn't stop himself!
He'd look like a runaway can of Pinto beans rolling down a hill!
It was the only time I ever saw a cat actually laugh!
Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! meow
What was that?
I killed the fucking cat!
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.08] You do seem like you've been in a pretty good mood lately
[00:02.79] Do you know why?
[00:03.87] No
[00:04.23] Because like Santa Claus, I had been making a list of people to kill twice
[00:10.03] Santa doesn't kill people
[00:11.44] He does with his terror claws
[00:15.77] Terror claws? I've never heard of them
[00:16.76] Oh, he kills you when you're sleeping
[00:24.89] He chokes you when you wake
[00:28.98] He knows if you are Catholic or Jew
[00:31.24] So denounce your infidel faith
[00:43.77] That's terrible, but catchy!
[00:47.61] Have you heard of the Terror Bunny?
[00:49.57] No
[00:50.08] He hides Easter bombs
[00:53.31] Look, Mommy
[00:58.87] That's even worse
[01:00.21] I know, thank you for noticing
[01:03.26] What, do you want more stinking knock knock jokes?
[01:04.95] That might be better
[01:06.15] Okay, knock knock
[01:06.88] Who's there?
[01:07.38] Me, I kill you again
[01:10.54] You're such an idiot, you keep answering the door
[01:14.67] Where I am from, the game we teach our children is when someone says knock knock, you shut the fuck up and hide
[01:26.08] So Achmed, did your parents have much to do with what you do now?
[01:29.98] Well, uh, I guess so. My father was a suicide bomber
[01:34.04] Oh, so you guys are a lot alike?
[01:35.63] Well, I have his eyes. In a box
[01:41.48] And I like to hide them wherever Walter is sleeping
[01:44.66] That way when he wakes up, it scares the crap out of him
[01:49.02] You son of a bitch, I'll kick your ass right now
[02:00.57] Is that case locked from the outside?
[02:02.82] Yeah, why?
[02:03.46] 'Cause he still scares the crap out of me!
[02:06.61] So, Ahmed, do you have any good memories of your father?
[02:08.68] Uh, for my eighth birthday, he got me a puppy
[02:12.04] That's good
[02:12.57] No, it turned into a disaster
[02:14.56] Why?
[02:15.01] Because sometimes my father was a very confused man
[02:18.39] And that day, my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons
[02:21.84] Yeah, and that's how I got a dog with no legs
[02:27.02] You had a dog with no legs?
[02:29.37] Yeah, he was great
[02:30.23] I had him for many years
[02:31.73] Oh, so what'd you call him?
[02:37.64] Seriously?
[02:42.14] Seriously?
[02:44.50] What?
[02:45.49] I had a dog with no legs
[02:49.10] What did you call him?
[02:54.36] Seriously?
[02:57.77] Okay, you're a comedian, right?
[03:00.13] Yeah?
[03:00.75] I had a dog with no legs
[03:07.04] Ask me again
[03:26.82] What'd you call him?
[03:28.87] I didn't call him anything because he could never come
[03:33.78] It's not funny!
[03:38.00] Agra, that's like the oldest joke ever
[03:41.25] Yes, but in my case, it was true
[03:45.40] Thanks
[03:49.38] Could he do any tricks?
[04:01.96] He could roll over!
[04:05.58] It's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline, he couldn't stop himself!
[04:11.88] He'd look like a runaway can of Pinto beans rolling down a hill!
[04:16.74] It was the only time I ever saw a cat actually laugh!
[04:20.81] Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! meow
[04:28.13] What was that?
[04:28.61] I killed the fucking cat!
[04:31.52]
[00:02.79] Do you know why?
[00:03.87] No
[00:04.23] Because like Santa Claus, I had been making a list of people to kill twice
[00:10.03] Santa doesn't kill people
[00:11.44] He does with his terror claws
[00:15.77] Terror claws? I've never heard of them
[00:16.76] Oh, he kills you when you're sleeping
[00:24.89] He chokes you when you wake
[00:28.98] He knows if you are Catholic or Jew
[00:31.24] So denounce your infidel faith
[00:43.77] That's terrible, but catchy!
[00:47.61] Have you heard of the Terror Bunny?
[00:49.57] No
[00:50.08] He hides Easter bombs
[00:53.31] Look, Mommy
[00:58.87] That's even worse
[01:00.21] I know, thank you for noticing
[01:03.26] What, do you want more stinking knock knock jokes?
[01:04.95] That might be better
[01:06.15] Okay, knock knock
[01:06.88] Who's there?
[01:07.38] Me, I kill you again
[01:10.54] You're such an idiot, you keep answering the door
[01:14.67] Where I am from, the game we teach our children is when someone says knock knock, you shut the fuck up and hide
[01:26.08] So Achmed, did your parents have much to do with what you do now?
[01:29.98] Well, uh, I guess so. My father was a suicide bomber
[01:34.04] Oh, so you guys are a lot alike?
[01:35.63] Well, I have his eyes. In a box
[01:41.48] And I like to hide them wherever Walter is sleeping
[01:44.66] That way when he wakes up, it scares the crap out of him
[01:49.02] You son of a bitch, I'll kick your ass right now
[02:00.57] Is that case locked from the outside?
[02:02.82] Yeah, why?
[02:03.46] 'Cause he still scares the crap out of me!
[02:06.61] So, Ahmed, do you have any good memories of your father?
[02:08.68] Uh, for my eighth birthday, he got me a puppy
[02:12.04] That's good
[02:12.57] No, it turned into a disaster
[02:14.56] Why?
[02:15.01] Because sometimes my father was a very confused man
[02:18.39] And that day, my mother told him to go outside and blow up some party balloons
[02:21.84] Yeah, and that's how I got a dog with no legs
[02:27.02] You had a dog with no legs?
[02:29.37] Yeah, he was great
[02:30.23] I had him for many years
[02:31.73] Oh, so what'd you call him?
[02:37.64] Seriously?
[02:42.14] Seriously?
[02:44.50] What?
[02:45.49] I had a dog with no legs
[02:49.10] What did you call him?
[02:54.36] Seriously?
[02:57.77] Okay, you're a comedian, right?
[03:00.13] Yeah?
[03:00.75] I had a dog with no legs
[03:07.04] Ask me again
[03:26.82] What'd you call him?
[03:28.87] I didn't call him anything because he could never come
[03:33.78] It's not funny!
[03:38.00] Agra, that's like the oldest joke ever
[03:41.25] Yes, but in my case, it was true
[03:45.40] Thanks
[03:49.38] Could he do any tricks?
[04:01.96] He could roll over!
[04:05.58] It's not funny because if there is any kind of an incline, he couldn't stop himself!
[04:11.88] He'd look like a runaway can of Pinto beans rolling down a hill!
[04:16.74] It was the only time I ever saw a cat actually laugh!
[04:20.81] Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! Meow, woof! meow
[04:28.13] What was that?
[04:28.61] I killed the fucking cat!
[04:31.52]