Small Fish

Sometimes sadness feels like fate
I just can't appreciate
When things are going great
Until after the fact

When the present is a stress
Untangling all that's in my head
I can find solutions
Just to find it hard again

Sometimes it's not the circumstance
I think it's just the way I think
Imposter syndrome for the misery
It's like I've chosen it

When I know I should feel joy
And I should show some gratitude
I feel a thought blockade
And I feel I can't improve

Many years like this now
And I thought that it would change
But my brain did not stop taunting me
So things just stay the same

And I feel guilt when I express it
So I just won't let it out
There are bigger fish to fry
Than reoccurring self doubt

So I guess this is the crux
Of why I cringe at myself
When there seems to be no trigger
For my poor mental health

So if I try to write sad songs
Then I have to write disclaimers
When I'm not sure if I'm sad
Or if I'm just a complainer