snowglobe (demo)

Never put the I in love you, I can't even stand to look
Worried but I try to love you
Like snow globes bought but never shook
Proof that I spent the night somewhere
Somewhere vaguely nice
It'd be where I'd choose to move myself
Apart from all the ice
So it sits with bones and rocks and perfume
At home on my shelf
Only taken out just to indulge you
Never for myself
And the trinkets would all pile up
As I keep shrinking down
I push my reason to my throat and make a different sound
And when I go to sleep somewhere the trinkets take my place
They're gorgeous to admire but I can't give up my space
And I have to try to love them and love isn't just like stuff
It's a deluded metaphor that doesn't mean that much
But I think it's fair to say that it's all clutter at its core
Something to fill up space and time
With no function just a form
And maybe I'm just broken or too young to understand
The whole purpose of love
Not shaking snow globes, buying land
And maybe my ambition is a pitiful display
Of talent turned to skill turned to a ten year summer break
Maybe by the end of this I'll just do the right thing
Go to a good college and forget that I can sing
But I don't know myself as well as everyone I know
They all give me names and gifts and words
And tell me where to go
My attempts to orient myself are laughable at best
Still need mnemonic trickery for north, south, east, and west
And it's hard to stomach anything when you've got guts of straw
And it's hard to stand up for yourself when you're not very tall
And it's terrifying to imagine one day waking up
And realizing I'm stranded, realizing I'm stuck