Boarding Our Dogs
๐ต 3632 characters
โฑ๏ธ 4:28 duration
๐ ID: 23464312
๐ Lyrics
God, she loves them dogs, boy
I love them, too, but they're just dogs, all right?
We had to take our dogs to be boarded recently
I don't know if you've had to do this, but it's like checking them into a spa
I walk our dogs, and the little girl behind the counter goes
Hi, just a few questions
What do your dogs like to sleep on, linen or wool?
Concrete's good
Well, what kind of water do they like? Clear
Put it in the toilet, they'll freak
And then she actually asked me this
She goes, Would you like to purchase a toothbrush for your dogs for the weekend?
Tell you what, you teach them to hold it, I'll buy the toothbrush
See, we got four dogs
We got two wiener dogs
Those are her dogs
Yeah, they're cute until they have to go to the vet
Then it's like a billion dollars
I took our two wiener dogs to our vet
Our idiot vet goes, that dog's going to have back problems
I'm like, well, no kidding
He's got an eight-foot back and two-inch legs
Hell, I could have figured that out
Here's another one, Doc Obvious
That's a boy dog, and he's about a quarter-inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk
He goes, you need to talk to that dog and tell him not to jump off the bed
I was like, All right
As soon as we get home, me and that dog will have a little sit-down
Then we got my dog, Duke
He's a basset hound
He's the perfect dog
Yeah, he eats his own turds
Perfect dog right there
Goes outside to poop, cleans it up
You can't teach that
That's just a gift
Best part about it, my wife doesn't know he does it
She loves to let that dog lick her in the face
Right there, that's why my wife and I have never had an argument
She starts getting on my back, and all I say is, Duke, mama wants some lovin'
I took Duke to the vet and told the vet that Duke eats his own turds
And he goes, no, a lot of dogs do it
He said, "Here, just sprinkle this stuff on his food, and it'll make him stop"
I said, "What's it do?"
And he goes, "It makes his turds taste bad"
I'm sorry, Doc, I'm a little slow here
Did you just say the phrase, It'll make his turds taste bad?
Hey, if you've sunk to eating turds, you've never uttered the phrase, oh, my God, this is nasty
We got a German shepherd we found on the side of the road, she's psycho
Now I know why she's on the side of the road
Nothing's free
But I love that dog
That dog saved my honey one night
One night, my wife and I were down to sleep in bed
Her dog was trying to jump up on the bed after I just talked to it
So I just grabbed a little wiener dog and flung him out in the backyard
Well, about 5.30 that morning, I heard just squealing and screaming coming out of the backyard
Good God, I hopped out of bed in my underwear, put on my headlight house shoes
Ran out in the backyard, and a coyote had jumped the fence
Yes, and had my wife's wiener dog pinned down on the ground I'm like, Oh
I appreciate what you're doing, but could have done a little quieter, couldn't you?
About that time, I felt this whoosh by my leg
That German shepherd ran out in that backyard, hit that coyote broadside
That coyote did three flips and jumped the fence
I looked at that German shepherd and said, come on, you're sleeping in the bed
Funny thing was, for about two weeks after that
My wife and I would be sitting at the breakfast table having coffee
We'd look out in the street, and there would be two or three coyotes sitting in our street
Looking in our backyard
And you know the conversation went like this
Hell no
Don't go in there
That little dog's a set-up
I ain't lying
Ask Joe what happened to him
Hell, he won't eat nothing but soy bacon
God bless you, Washington, I appreciate it
I love them, too, but they're just dogs, all right?
We had to take our dogs to be boarded recently
I don't know if you've had to do this, but it's like checking them into a spa
I walk our dogs, and the little girl behind the counter goes
Hi, just a few questions
What do your dogs like to sleep on, linen or wool?
Concrete's good
Well, what kind of water do they like? Clear
Put it in the toilet, they'll freak
And then she actually asked me this
She goes, Would you like to purchase a toothbrush for your dogs for the weekend?
Tell you what, you teach them to hold it, I'll buy the toothbrush
See, we got four dogs
We got two wiener dogs
Those are her dogs
Yeah, they're cute until they have to go to the vet
Then it's like a billion dollars
I took our two wiener dogs to our vet
Our idiot vet goes, that dog's going to have back problems
I'm like, well, no kidding
He's got an eight-foot back and two-inch legs
Hell, I could have figured that out
Here's another one, Doc Obvious
That's a boy dog, and he's about a quarter-inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk
He goes, you need to talk to that dog and tell him not to jump off the bed
I was like, All right
As soon as we get home, me and that dog will have a little sit-down
Then we got my dog, Duke
He's a basset hound
He's the perfect dog
Yeah, he eats his own turds
Perfect dog right there
Goes outside to poop, cleans it up
You can't teach that
That's just a gift
Best part about it, my wife doesn't know he does it
She loves to let that dog lick her in the face
Right there, that's why my wife and I have never had an argument
She starts getting on my back, and all I say is, Duke, mama wants some lovin'
I took Duke to the vet and told the vet that Duke eats his own turds
And he goes, no, a lot of dogs do it
He said, "Here, just sprinkle this stuff on his food, and it'll make him stop"
I said, "What's it do?"
And he goes, "It makes his turds taste bad"
I'm sorry, Doc, I'm a little slow here
Did you just say the phrase, It'll make his turds taste bad?
Hey, if you've sunk to eating turds, you've never uttered the phrase, oh, my God, this is nasty
We got a German shepherd we found on the side of the road, she's psycho
Now I know why she's on the side of the road
Nothing's free
But I love that dog
That dog saved my honey one night
One night, my wife and I were down to sleep in bed
Her dog was trying to jump up on the bed after I just talked to it
So I just grabbed a little wiener dog and flung him out in the backyard
Well, about 5.30 that morning, I heard just squealing and screaming coming out of the backyard
Good God, I hopped out of bed in my underwear, put on my headlight house shoes
Ran out in the backyard, and a coyote had jumped the fence
Yes, and had my wife's wiener dog pinned down on the ground I'm like, Oh
I appreciate what you're doing, but could have done a little quieter, couldn't you?
About that time, I felt this whoosh by my leg
That German shepherd ran out in that backyard, hit that coyote broadside
That coyote did three flips and jumped the fence
I looked at that German shepherd and said, come on, you're sleeping in the bed
Funny thing was, for about two weeks after that
My wife and I would be sitting at the breakfast table having coffee
We'd look out in the street, and there would be two or three coyotes sitting in our street
Looking in our backyard
And you know the conversation went like this
Hell no
Don't go in there
That little dog's a set-up
I ain't lying
Ask Joe what happened to him
Hell, he won't eat nothing but soy bacon
God bless you, Washington, I appreciate it
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.00] God, she loves them dogs, boy
[00:01.82] I love them, too, but they're just dogs, all right?
[00:04.02] We had to take our dogs to be boarded recently
[00:05.45] I don't know if you've had to do this, but it's like checking them into a spa
[00:08.23] I walk our dogs, and the little girl behind the counter goes
[00:11.36] Hi, just a few questions
[00:13.50] What do your dogs like to sleep on, linen or wool?
[00:18.50] Concrete's good
[00:22.85] Well, what kind of water do they like? Clear
[00:27.78] Put it in the toilet, they'll freak
[00:32.09] And then she actually asked me this
[00:35.46] She goes, Would you like to purchase a toothbrush for your dogs for the weekend?
[00:39.04] Tell you what, you teach them to hold it, I'll buy the toothbrush
[00:47.64] See, we got four dogs
[00:48.84] We got two wiener dogs
[00:50.04] Those are her dogs
[00:50.78] Yeah, they're cute until they have to go to the vet
[00:53.24] Then it's like a billion dollars
[00:54.61] I took our two wiener dogs to our vet
[00:56.87] Our idiot vet goes, that dog's going to have back problems
[00:58.62] I'm like, well, no kidding
[01:00.02] He's got an eight-foot back and two-inch legs
[01:02.94] Hell, I could have figured that out
[01:05.86] Here's another one, Doc Obvious
[01:08.97] That's a boy dog, and he's about a quarter-inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk
[01:17.39] He goes, you need to talk to that dog and tell him not to jump off the bed
[01:22.78] I was like, All right
[01:27.92] As soon as we get home, me and that dog will have a little sit-down
[01:30.72] Then we got my dog, Duke
[01:33.08] He's a basset hound
[01:34.28] He's the perfect dog
[01:35.50] Yeah, he eats his own turds
[01:39.10] Perfect dog right there
[01:41.76] Goes outside to poop, cleans it up
[01:46.03] You can't teach that
[01:49.16] That's just a gift
[01:51.32] Best part about it, my wife doesn't know he does it
[01:55.55] She loves to let that dog lick her in the face
[02:06.15] Right there, that's why my wife and I have never had an argument
[02:08.58] She starts getting on my back, and all I say is, Duke, mama wants some lovin'
[02:15.47] I took Duke to the vet and told the vet that Duke eats his own turds
[02:19.66] And he goes, no, a lot of dogs do it
[02:21.87] He said, "Here, just sprinkle this stuff on his food, and it'll make him stop"
[02:24.66] I said, "What's it do?"
[02:26.32] And he goes, "It makes his turds taste bad"
[02:31.92] I'm sorry, Doc, I'm a little slow here
[02:37.35] Did you just say the phrase, It'll make his turds taste bad?
[02:42.65] Hey, if you've sunk to eating turds, you've never uttered the phrase, oh, my God, this is nasty
[02:50.98] We got a German shepherd we found on the side of the road, she's psycho
[02:54.65] Now I know why she's on the side of the road
[02:57.19] Nothing's free
[02:59.62] But I love that dog
[03:01.48] That dog saved my honey one night
[03:03.63] One night, my wife and I were down to sleep in bed
[03:05.48] Her dog was trying to jump up on the bed after I just talked to it
[03:09.25] So I just grabbed a little wiener dog and flung him out in the backyard
[03:13.73] Well, about 5.30 that morning, I heard just squealing and screaming coming out of the backyard
[03:17.97] Good God, I hopped out of bed in my underwear, put on my headlight house shoes
[03:21.77] Ran out in the backyard, and a coyote had jumped the fence
[03:25.85] Yes, and had my wife's wiener dog pinned down on the ground I'm like, Oh
[03:30.76] I appreciate what you're doing, but could have done a little quieter, couldn't you?
[03:38.16] About that time, I felt this whoosh by my leg
[03:42.35] That German shepherd ran out in that backyard, hit that coyote broadside
[03:45.66] That coyote did three flips and jumped the fence
[03:47.42] I looked at that German shepherd and said, come on, you're sleeping in the bed
[03:51.49] Funny thing was, for about two weeks after that
[03:54.93] My wife and I would be sitting at the breakfast table having coffee
[03:56.85] We'd look out in the street, and there would be two or three coyotes sitting in our street
[03:59.64] Looking in our backyard
[04:01.48] And you know the conversation went like this
[04:04.13] Hell no
[04:08.52] Don't go in there
[04:08.94] That little dog's a set-up
[04:14.20] I ain't lying
[04:17.08] Ask Joe what happened to him
[04:18.78] Hell, he won't eat nothing but soy bacon
[04:21.32] God bless you, Washington, I appreciate it
[04:26.93]
[00:01.82] I love them, too, but they're just dogs, all right?
[00:04.02] We had to take our dogs to be boarded recently
[00:05.45] I don't know if you've had to do this, but it's like checking them into a spa
[00:08.23] I walk our dogs, and the little girl behind the counter goes
[00:11.36] Hi, just a few questions
[00:13.50] What do your dogs like to sleep on, linen or wool?
[00:18.50] Concrete's good
[00:22.85] Well, what kind of water do they like? Clear
[00:27.78] Put it in the toilet, they'll freak
[00:32.09] And then she actually asked me this
[00:35.46] She goes, Would you like to purchase a toothbrush for your dogs for the weekend?
[00:39.04] Tell you what, you teach them to hold it, I'll buy the toothbrush
[00:47.64] See, we got four dogs
[00:48.84] We got two wiener dogs
[00:50.04] Those are her dogs
[00:50.78] Yeah, they're cute until they have to go to the vet
[00:53.24] Then it's like a billion dollars
[00:54.61] I took our two wiener dogs to our vet
[00:56.87] Our idiot vet goes, that dog's going to have back problems
[00:58.62] I'm like, well, no kidding
[01:00.02] He's got an eight-foot back and two-inch legs
[01:02.94] Hell, I could have figured that out
[01:05.86] Here's another one, Doc Obvious
[01:08.97] That's a boy dog, and he's about a quarter-inch from dragging his transmission on the sidewalk
[01:17.39] He goes, you need to talk to that dog and tell him not to jump off the bed
[01:22.78] I was like, All right
[01:27.92] As soon as we get home, me and that dog will have a little sit-down
[01:30.72] Then we got my dog, Duke
[01:33.08] He's a basset hound
[01:34.28] He's the perfect dog
[01:35.50] Yeah, he eats his own turds
[01:39.10] Perfect dog right there
[01:41.76] Goes outside to poop, cleans it up
[01:46.03] You can't teach that
[01:49.16] That's just a gift
[01:51.32] Best part about it, my wife doesn't know he does it
[01:55.55] She loves to let that dog lick her in the face
[02:06.15] Right there, that's why my wife and I have never had an argument
[02:08.58] She starts getting on my back, and all I say is, Duke, mama wants some lovin'
[02:15.47] I took Duke to the vet and told the vet that Duke eats his own turds
[02:19.66] And he goes, no, a lot of dogs do it
[02:21.87] He said, "Here, just sprinkle this stuff on his food, and it'll make him stop"
[02:24.66] I said, "What's it do?"
[02:26.32] And he goes, "It makes his turds taste bad"
[02:31.92] I'm sorry, Doc, I'm a little slow here
[02:37.35] Did you just say the phrase, It'll make his turds taste bad?
[02:42.65] Hey, if you've sunk to eating turds, you've never uttered the phrase, oh, my God, this is nasty
[02:50.98] We got a German shepherd we found on the side of the road, she's psycho
[02:54.65] Now I know why she's on the side of the road
[02:57.19] Nothing's free
[02:59.62] But I love that dog
[03:01.48] That dog saved my honey one night
[03:03.63] One night, my wife and I were down to sleep in bed
[03:05.48] Her dog was trying to jump up on the bed after I just talked to it
[03:09.25] So I just grabbed a little wiener dog and flung him out in the backyard
[03:13.73] Well, about 5.30 that morning, I heard just squealing and screaming coming out of the backyard
[03:17.97] Good God, I hopped out of bed in my underwear, put on my headlight house shoes
[03:21.77] Ran out in the backyard, and a coyote had jumped the fence
[03:25.85] Yes, and had my wife's wiener dog pinned down on the ground I'm like, Oh
[03:30.76] I appreciate what you're doing, but could have done a little quieter, couldn't you?
[03:38.16] About that time, I felt this whoosh by my leg
[03:42.35] That German shepherd ran out in that backyard, hit that coyote broadside
[03:45.66] That coyote did three flips and jumped the fence
[03:47.42] I looked at that German shepherd and said, come on, you're sleeping in the bed
[03:51.49] Funny thing was, for about two weeks after that
[03:54.93] My wife and I would be sitting at the breakfast table having coffee
[03:56.85] We'd look out in the street, and there would be two or three coyotes sitting in our street
[03:59.64] Looking in our backyard
[04:01.48] And you know the conversation went like this
[04:04.13] Hell no
[04:08.52] Don't go in there
[04:08.94] That little dog's a set-up
[04:14.20] I ain't lying
[04:17.08] Ask Joe what happened to him
[04:18.78] Hell, he won't eat nothing but soy bacon
[04:21.32] God bless you, Washington, I appreciate it
[04:26.93]