The Hoa Song

"HOA Hell (Welcome to the Cult-de-Sac)"
(Dark Humor Country Rock Style)
[Verse 1]
Welcome to the neighborhood, here’s your bible and a rake
Mow it low, edge it straight, or they’ll burn you at the stake
Your fence is two inches too high? That’s a federal offense
Hope you like letters in red ink and yard inspection suspense
[Chorus]
It’s HOA hell, bless your soul
They’ll fine your ass for a garden gnome
Got a swing set? That’s a war crime
Better paint that bitch ‘fore the deadline
Smile for the cameras, pray for rain
These petty gods crave suburban pain
[Verse 2]
Karen from Lot Nine called a meeting last night
‘Cause your grass grew half an inch—what a blight
Bob’s got a drone and a clipboard of sin
If your shutters aren’t beige, don’t let him in
[Bridge]
No trash cans in sight, no weeds may bloom
One rogue dandelion and it’s your doom
Sacrifice a goat to the board each May
And don’t you dare park in your own damn driveway
[Chorus]
Yeah, it’s HOA hell, grab a beer
You’re not free, but you can’t leave here
Put your grill in the back, hide your pride
And never hang laundry outside
Conform, comply, kiss the ring
In Polk County, the HOA is king
[Outro]
So here’s to the cult of the cul-de-sac
Where power-trippin’ Karens got your back
Say one word and they’ll smite your shed—
Long live the Lords of the Lawnmower Dead