06 Old Gopher

Did you hear about Kansas?
About an old Kansas boy?
Living on a river in an old flag below
And buying raw red gum
And making raw red wine
Crazy as a stallion
Choked on lariat line, would you believe?
Got a belly like a boiler
Got a head like a whale
And when he mouths you for something
Going to be blowing a gale
Well, there's blood on the table
And there's skins on the door
And there's last week's hunting hose over the floor

There's a dealer got in there
Made Kansas go crazy
And he split him wide open
Like a two-knight daisy
Threw the dealer out the window
And the rest out of the door
Now they're flooding water through his back door
They've been aiming to saddle him
And to wash him right away
Oh, but no, the old gophers been gone for days
He blew over the prairie
And right into the hills
Now nobody's going to get him
Unless a mountain kills

Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills
Unless a mountain kills