YOU'RE NOT DEAD

I woke up one December morning to an empty sound in my home, and so I
Went and took my young shaking body to a smile as I awoke,
And I didn’t hear from you, but you called me back and I
said that I’m sorry, it’s just the girl I am,
I saw you about two weeks later, I asked you how it was going,
You said a guy had pushed you out of your job when you went and told him just “no”,
And you turned on the camera, that’s how we get ends met,
I see fuckers like him all day in this town
You heard the carlock on your night’s casket,
You felt his breath on your evening’s paycheck,
And so you sat through it, you acted all cutesie,
And you made your rent, and you called me up like,

“Oh sweetheart, what can we sell next?
Remember Joanna and Greta and Lucy?
They scraped past the murder,
They’re safe in their homes,
And next month they’ll do it again and again”

You’re not dead,
And I’m alive,
Though the air doesn’t want us to breathe
Honey I know it gets hard for us girls
We’ll still live a thousand lives
Though they ignite all the air in the sky
Disfigure our skin, fractured skulls, open arms

Met with you on a Sunday morning and you told me everything’s fine,
Like the cash is good, and it hurts sometimes, but you finally stopped yourself crying,
And I sat in the hotel, my fear filled the lobby
When I heard your footsteps, my pulse finally calmed
I could see the cheap brown foundation from the colour over your shirt,
And I know that you never would wear that stuff less you had to hide you were hurt,
And you cried in my arms babe,
I held you so tightly,
My face filled with rage,

We slashed his tires on that dull evening,
We went for drinks ’til we hit the ceiling,
You almost lost feeling,
But I saw you breathing,
And I took you home and you called my name like,

“Oh, sweetheart, what kind of hell’s next?
Remember our girls that we never can speak of?
I still see the blue lights, the pavement lights up
But still you and me babe, we wake from those dreams”

You’re not dead,
And I’m alive,
Though the air doesn’t want us to breathe
Honey I know it gets hard for us girls
We’ll still live a thousand lives
Though they ignite all the air in the sky
Disfigure our skin, fractured skulls, open arms

I got a call from your housemate the other day,
And I knew what had happened before I even answered.
I will always remember you, my angel