Self-Sabotaging Rube Goldberg Machine

Life's so short
It won't humor me
I took control
And tried to change the key
Now the colors are a muted grey
Grey stole the words that I've tried to say
I'm the last piece of a Rube Goldberg machine
By myself I laid down the tracks for you all to see
Self-sabotage is my game
I'm waiting for the nighttime just to turn to day
It'll be so long so I wait patiently
But I'm distracted when it's here
I look up when the sun sets
I'm sorry for not being that cool
Just another silly guy wantin' to be that dude
But I don't feel real
Being human, I don't wanna feel
I try to stay true
So I can be that dude
Someone to love is my need
But I'm doomscrolling until my fingers bleed
It's been so long since someone's there and reaching out
But I don't care to grasp
Their hand next to my heart
I'm sorry for not being that cool
Just another silly guy wantin' to be that dude
But somethings not right
I can feel it when she's out of sight
I try to stay true
So I can be that dude
I'm the last piece of a Rube Goldberg machine
By myself I laid down the tracks for you all to see
Self-sabotage is my game
I'm waiting for the nighttime just to turn to day
It'll be so long so I wait patiently
But I'm distracted when it's here
I look up when the sun sets
I'm sorry for not being that cool
Just another silly guy wantin' to be that dude
But I don't feel real
Being human, I don't wanna feel
I try to stay true
So I can be that dude