Brainstorm in a Blender

Penny-pinching prophets peddle pointless prophecies
While I'm pacing past a panda playing Paganini
Coffee-crazed I contemplate conundrums in my chair
With a crossword clue and kombucha in my hair
I tried to train my thoughts to tiptoe
But they tap dance in a typo tornado
It's a brainstorm in a blender
A thesaurus on a thrill ride
Alliteration's my offender
And my similes have multiplied
If confusion is a condiment I'm slathered head to toe
In a metaphorical mishmash that refuses to say no
Fluctuating feelings flirt with fickle philosophies
Fact-checking fairies float through faulty fantasies
I filed a formal grievance with my frontal lobe
But it forwarded my memo to a fortune cookie code
My cerebellum's in rebellion
Spouting stanzas like a snarky librarian
It's a brainstorm in a blender
A thesaurus on a thrill ride
Alliteration's my offender
And my similes have multiplied
Like a limerick on lithium I lurch from line to line
With a punchline in my pocket and a pun I can't define
I'm a walking contradiction with a penchant for precision
I rhyme "existential crisis" just to force a premonition
There's a method to the madness if you squint or maybe spin
But the moral of my story keeps forgetting where it's been
It's a brainstorm in a blender
And the blades are set on high
Syntax spirals like suspenders
On a soup of "who" and "why"
If you think this song's excessive—well you're certainly not wrong
But I'd rather be ridiculous than write a boring song