Dr. Schaden Freud

Full of sadness, uninspired
Thrown off the shortlist, no brushstroke in weeks
Close to madness, always tired
You tried and you missed, you're past all your peaks
If lately life has just been too demure
Call the number on this card, there is a cure
Do you feel useless and devoid?
Visit Dr. Schadenfreude
I'd advise a discreet tryst
With my favourite therapist
Are you overanalysed
Haunted by a poltergeist
Or looking for a little twist?
Pardonnez-moi, but I insist
If you stick to a single angle
You won't hear the jingles jangle
I know where the jewels dangle
Join our little tingle-tangle
Do you feel jaded and annoyed?
Come to Dr. Schadenfreude
If you want your works to subsist
I am entitled to enlist
I could help you instantly
If I could only make you see
His secret identity
Dr Schadenfreude is...
If you stick to a single angle
You won't hear the jingles jangle
Find me where the jewels dangle
Join our little tingle-tangle