The Olympics

Now the Olympics come to these fair isles in two thousand and twelve
But just how can we ensure that we take gold?
But then I had a thought
Make drinking beer an Olympic sport
And now let my master plan unfold
Because...
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world class athletes you and me
We'll drink 'til we're unstable
And be top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB
Well I could drink ten pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I'm going to the bar for Team GB
So getting bladdered now becomes intensive training
And I'm exercising at the pub week in, week out
And I've got on a retainer
Johnny Vegas as me personal trainer
We're drinking bitter, lager, cider, ale and stout
Ha-hey!
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world class athletes you and me
We'll drink 'til we're unstable
And be top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB
Yes, yes, gymnastics now
Let's check on Willy Eck, he's like in the vault
I'm told he's no longer in the vault
He's now in the lounge undertaking the synchronised drinking
Let's check the marks from the judges
5.6, 5.8, 5.9 Percent alcohol
He's done it! Gold for Britain!
Well I could drink ten pints sat in me vest
Trying to break me personal best
There'd even be medals for queuing at the KFC
From now on going out on the lash
Will all be funded by lottery cash
So I'm going to the bar for Team GB
Now drinking lager, the Germans, they'll be competition
And for vodka the Russians would put up a fight I guess
But drinking 'til you're chaotic will finally be patriotic
Has anyone got Seb Coe's email address?
I wanna put drinking beer in the Olympics
We'd all be world class athletes you and me
We'll drink 'til we're unstable
And be top of the medal table
I'm going to the bar for Team GB