note 128.

I cannot fight the thoughts in my mind
I'm sick of myself, I'm wasting my time
I left my heart in a state I'm not in
The chief he called me and this is not it

I don't know why I'm scared to change
Maybe I got stuck and I'm snared to pain
Maybe this is my luck and I'm not supposed to escape
Maybe I'm made to love the rush I get when I break
Fuck it, I guess that I'm fucked, I'm a fuck up
This pain that I feel I just can't get enough of
Cause I still ain't changed, I'm stuck in my ways
I'm tired of games, I don't wanna play

I wanna smoke, I wanna drink
I wanna get fucked up till I can't think
About why I got fucked up in the first place
I don't know what I need so I need to escape
My head is mix of betrayal, and hate, and some sick love
I feel out of place till I mix drugs
My heart's put away and it's bricked up
I got a list of
All of the things that made this way
Everything that fed into pain
Every card that they gave me to play
Every reason I don't wanna stay