Composure

I medicate myself
So I don't have to feel the water rising
Or my lungs losing air
If I drown will I find closure
Will I lose composure
Will I even care
HOW FAR WILL I SINK
BEFORE THE DEPTHS CONSUME ME
WILL MY FEET EVER TOUCH THE GROUND I
CAN FEEL THE CURRENT PULLING ME DOWN
Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm too far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go

I'll destroy myself
For the sake of feeling different
The sake of feeling fine
And If I can't step back from this ledge
I'm sorry that I left you without saying goodbye

Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm too far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go
If I drift away will it cure the ache
Or will the pain find another heart to break

WHAT IF THE HURTING
DOESN'T END WITH ME
WHAT IF I END IT ALL
EXCEPT THE SUFFERING
WHO WILL HOLD THE WEIGHT
THAT I CAN'T CARRY
WHO WILL HAVE TO LIVE
ONCE I'M DEAD AND BURIED

Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm too far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go
If I drift away will it cure the ache
Or will the pain find another heart to break