Have You Got the Gumption?

Whenever Spongenose Pete met the cop on the beat
He was higher than a fly on a spray, any day
When Pete knew he was booked
At the police man he'd look
And defending his virtue
You could hear him say
"Have you got the gumption to make the assumption that I'm inebriated?
Have you got the gall to say alcohol's gone to my wig?
I ain't had a drink, sir
Since I made the clink, sir
The night I celebrated
At the garbage man's ball when we had that brawl
You remember, officer
You may be the law
Still there could be a flaw
In your calculations, old top
I got troubles enough
I ain't even touchin' the stuff
Not even a wee, huh, little drop
Just draw with some chalk, sir
A line and I'll walk, sir
Straighter than a judge man
Have you got the gumption to make the assumption that I'm pinched?"

Yes, you may be the law
Still there could be a flaw
In your calculations, old top
I got troubles enough
I'm not even touchin' the stuff
Not even a wee, huh, little drop
Just draw with some chalk, sir
A line and I'll walk, sir
Straighter than a judge man
Have you got the gumption to make the assumption that I'm pinched?
You mean, officer, you gonna put me in jail?
Don't close that gate
Let me take a walk, I'll be straight
Hey, officer, take these things off my arm
I ain't gonna do nobody no harm
Officer, I know the captain of the precinct
Don't hit me with that blackjack, I ain't comin' back
Officer, if I got to go, let me take my horn so I can be real gone
Officer, you're doin' wrong, officer