Lost

As far back as I can remember
The failure was always there
It was the only real companion that I have ever had
Not meant to live like this
Consciousness is nothing more than a vicious cycle
And I am being bled dry by my conviction
I've spent my life trying to find my confidence
And found absolutely nothing
Life is a lost cause
Too weak to carry on
I wish I'd never met who I once was
Not meant to live like this
Pursuing the love in all that I have lost
But I have left myself neglected
Deserted from the start
Longing for a chance to wander
A chance to chase my aspiration
When you're devoid of feeling
You just do as you're told
Hatred is exhausting
But it's all I'll ever know