Secret Crush

3rd grade, I've loved him since 3rd grade
3rd grade, I loved him so much
Bitch, get your hands off my secret crush

You're not so pretty
You're not so smart
You're not a real blonde
And you've got … bad taste in art

Why does he love you?
You're sucis a total wreck
You're hooked on Xanax
Wow, I hate that dress

3rd grade, I've loved him since 3rd grade
3rd grade, I loved him so much
Bitch, get your hands off my secret crush

You get to kiss him
That drives me nuts
What's with his judgment?
He's dating such a putz

3rd grade, I've loved him since 3rd grade
3rd grade, I loved him so much
Bitch, get your hands off my secret crush

8th grade, still loved him in 8th grade
8th grade, my heart was like mush
Bitch, get your hands off my secret crush

How can I kill you?
What could I use?
I could just whack you
With one of your cheap-ass Payless shoes

It's time for action
It's time to fight
I've been takin' Tae-bo
Now I'm just like Dolomite!

3rd grade, I've loved him since 3rd grade
3rd grade, I loved him so much
Bitch, get your hands off my secret crush

Thirty-two, I just turned thirty-two
Thirty-two, and I'm a lush
Bitch, get your hands off wy secret crush