The Pessimistic Character From "If I Had My Way")

Throw him out the window, he can't stay
How did he get in here anyway?
What do we want with him? Around the place
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

When he hears a joke he always cries
When there's any fun, he darn near dies
What do you say we laugh at his sad case?
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

He's never welcome
Anywhere he goes
Let him stay where he belongs
In a book of Edgar Alan Poe, why don't we lose him?

Wrap him in a blanket carefully
Throw him out the window a-one, a-two, a-three
It'll be great to wear a grinning chase
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

Now don't you ever let him get you all alone
He's the worst companion ever known
He doesn't know how to keep a merry face
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

When there's any trouble how he boasts
He enjoys a graveyard and he loves ghosts
Smile he'll disappear and leave no trace
That old fuddy duddy with the crab apple face

He's got a hand shake
Just like a lemon peel
He's the sole of discontent
With the disposition of a heel, oh, what an icky

He's no good at dancing, he can't sing
He despises rainbows and he hates spring
Why do we want him in the human race?
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face