Where Is My Light?

I wanted to be sure
Of horizons in my window, big and blue
And the sun still making singing in my ear
But I forgot the wall is over there
And now I sit in idle grayness
And this stillness I can't take
So I begin to think in figures
Instead of beauty that we made
And beauty's gone

A liar spit in my ear
And it turned me into nothingness, worms and fleas
The lie became my body, every pore
As petals form beneath me, acid soil
And where is joy among these pieces
That we spring into the space?
Where is my gentle reason
And the light within that cave?
Where have you gone?
I want to know the quiet of its voice before the scream
Just sitting in the silence and waiting, waiting

Where is my light?
Not blue, but green and quiet in my mind