Something Better

I will change everything
I will be something better
I'll take my hands and I'll write you a lovely love letter
I will
I'll try my best and I will
I'll put much better clothes on
I'll wash in places that only you know that I smelt wrong
Kiss my lips and touch my hair
And tell me everything is gonna be okay
Yeah I like that
'Cause I've been staring at this photograph
Of me and you and I've not had any days
And I don't like it
I know I could have been
Should have been someone else
But I tried that once and it's not that good for my mental health
Still I wish that you were here
But I know that's not okay
And I could pick up the phone
But I've not got that much good stuff to say
Kiss my lips and touch my hair
And tell me everything is gonna be okay
Yeah I like that
'Cause I've been staring at this photograph
Of me and you and I've not had any days
And I don't like it
Now I'm not digging for wanky metaphors
But it's just not black and white, is it?
Life's a colourful thing when you look at it right
And every body is a body
And every body has a mind
But something got caught up between yours and mine
You told me once in a ticket line
I remember the way your hands felt that day
The way the light hit your face
And how we thought we'd be okay
And if you could just walk down that path
And see that tree again in the garden
Would you really feel like it was all just some shit show
You wanna shovel right back behind your eyelids?
Life's a mess to be abandoned
Turn the clocks right back back
And these thoughts keep bashing me 'round
Telling me it's all over
Throwing me at the walls
And saying I won't make it through October
I might not make it until dawn
And like a lighthouse all alone out in the wind in a storm
I'm holding on but it hurts
My hands are bleeding
And I know you won't hear me screaming
And you know what really hurts the worst?
Is you don't even want a single feeling
A single memory to carry on
I know we're way broke beyond the mend
And all the while I'm just living with
All the while I'm just living with the fact that I hate my best friend
That I hate my best friend
That my best friend hates me
Now what?