Homemade Radio Spot Outtakes

Okay
Hi, every- Take one
Take one
Hi
Hi
Hi, everyone who's listening
I'm here at the rehearsal hall, uh, The Mothers
Of Invention rehearsal hall along with Don
Don?
Hiya there, gang
Don's there
And Ian
Hello
And Jim
Hello
And Frank
Hiya
Howard
Hiya
Myself, Mark
And Ainsley hasn't come yet and I'm gonna introduce- ...
To you a real good friend, your friend and mine, Eddie
And Eddie's gonna do the sales pitch on the album
How about it, Eddie?
How good, how good do think we pitch this?
Hey
Eddie, are you kidding?
Hiya
Cousin Bruce?
Yeah
This is, uh, big Eddie Sincere out here at Warner Reprise
Yeah, right on
Honest to God
No shit
Hey, how's it going, huh?
Oh, cool, brother
Hey, listen, you got that new album I sent you?
The white one?
Yeah, the funny looking one with the pencil front
Yeah
Any action on it?
Listen, I really think it needs a shot
I mean, these are brothers, you know?
They're kids that, that worked their way up
From the streets just like you and I did
'Sides, I think we got a hit on that album
I think the Mud Sharks, you know, uh, I think it's top 40
I think it's a record
I think you should run it up the flagpole
I think we can run with it, you know what I mean?
Hey, well right on, cousin
Okay
Outta sight
Uptight
Okay
Goodnight
Eddie, are you kidding?
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
Hey, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
We got airplay in Cleveland on that new Mothers album
We got airplay in- We got airplay in Cleveland
We got airplay in Detroit
Call Cleveland
Call Detroit
You, get me the farmer
Get me Detroit
Get me Cleveland
Hello?
Hello?
Is this the geater with the heater?
Yeah, yeah
This is Eddie Sincere
Hey, geater, what's shaking?
Hey, cool, baby
Hey, all right
Hey, I hear we're getting some action on that new Mothers record
Hey, dynamite, baby
I knew you could do it
Hey, how's the Mud Shark doing?
Kids are bopping to it, right?
They're greasing to it, right?
85 On Bandstand pick this week huh?
Danceable, huh?
Hey, Eddie
Eddie
Yeah
Cousin Brucie just went on the Mud Shark
Cousin Brucie just- Oh, get me Cousin Brucie
Hello, Brucie, baby
Right on, sweetheart
Cool, brother
Hey, our brothers made it, huh?
The record's happening, huh?
Beautiful, cousin
Hey, beautiful
I'll get right back to you
Hey, fantastic
Fantastic
Anywhere else in the country happening?
Let me see that board
Chicago
Peoria
Peoria
Get me Peoria
Hello, Cousin Schleppy
Hi, Cousin Schleppy
This is...
This is...
Yes, no, it's not him at all
This is Eddie Sincere
No, I'm calling for Frank
Hey, I really appreciate you guys going on the record
Hey, can I buy you dinner when you come to town this week?
Fantastic
I've got this great little intimate place
French cuisine but cheap, you know?
I can put it on your card
It's quite okay
Come right over, I'll give you crepes Suzette so you can't...
Fantastic
Anywhere else in the country?
I'll get back to you
Anywhere else in the country happening?
Les Carter says he'll play the Mothers' new album
Les Carter's here
Le- get me Les Carter
Hello, Les
Oh, fantastic
Beautiful, man
I heard you playing the record
You're a brother of mine
Swear to God, man, it's just fantastic
I can't thank you enough because you're
Really breaking the product here in LA
And it really needs it
I mean, you know, we're trying to get rid of these white
Records and the kids are just trying their hardest, man
They're willing to do anything
Got a little friends party scheduled next week
We'd like you to come along and bring the little liver
There's gonna be little canapes
Gonna be little snail things
Gonna have a little egg thing on the fish
It's gonna be fantastic
We want you to come and bring along your friends
Yeah, it's on us
Yeah, the Warner Brothers people are
Springing for it and it's really beautiful
And now friends, after all of this hype, it's, it's time
Now to just settle down and think about the honest business
At hand and to forget all the bullshit we've been laying
On you for these many minutes and to sort of sing seriously
The hymn of the salespeople here at Warner Reprise
The Mothers of Invention, Radio Hype
Eddie, are you kidding about this Mothers' album?
Eddie, are you kidding?
Where can I go to get The Mothers' Fillmore East in 1971?
Who cares!
Eddie, are you kidding?
Listen to me
My friends say, "Eddie, are you kidding?" Now folks, I am not kidding
Eddie, are you kidding?
This album does not contain James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Neil
Young, Alice Cooper, Ry Cooder, Van Dyke Parks, Van Morrison
Black Sabbath, Jerry Garcia, Little Feat, Captain Beefheart
T Rex, The Doobie Brothers, Mother Earth, Rod Stewart or Dee
And I am not kidding
Someone asked me, someone asked me, they said, "Eddie, Eddie, listen
I read this circular." You guys, the Mothers
Are never mentioned in this circular
Always talking about- Eddie, are you kidding?
...
Tony Mitchell and Neil Young and Alice Cooper and Ry Cooder and Black
Sabbath and Jerry Garcia and Little Feat and The Doobie Brothers
A whole lot of Doobie Brothers and Mother Earth, you know
All they ever say about the Mothers is that
They're playing at some power arena some place
Now, Dee, we know all this
Dee's got a hotline phone number
Eddie, are you kidding?
And she listens and she knows what those guys are talking about
You guys never talk about the Mothers
Dee asks me, "Eddie, listen
I was listening to the hotline today." Herb
He always makes me listen to the hotline
"Why doesn't anybody ever say anything about the Mothers'
New album, Fillmore East, June 1971?" Eddie, are you kidding?
Bizarre Reprise 2024
She said to me, "Eddie, how do you feel about these
Mothers?" And I'll tell you something, friends
I am not kidding
When I first heard about these Mothers- Eddie, are you kidding?
...
I just didn't know
I, I just wasn't sure
I just didn't care
And, and I am not kidding
But now, our Warner Brothers warehouses on both coasts
Are overflowing with what I assure you is the latest
And greatest, the largest and finest selection of
Portlies, longs, extra longs and cadets in this country
My friends ask me, "Eddie, how can you sell $127
35 Worth of music on this new Mothers album for a
Mere $3.98?" Well, I'll tell you something, friends
You can't
It's impossible
Eddie, are you kidding?
But I can guarantee this, friends
Each and every cover is double knit shrink wrap
And in living color and hand drawn by Cal Schenkel
You salesmen, you guys out there know a
Cover such as this is ugly but it's cheap
Now, I could tell you this album contained oh, Joe Boyd
Lenny Waronker, Stan Cornen and Jeanie, all those heavies
But that would be like asking Ian Anderson to play the
Flute with both feet on the ground at the same time
And I am not kidding
I am never kidding about Ian Anderson
My friends say, "Eddie, will ever be able to get this
Album played on the radio?" Eddie, are you kidding?
And I'll tell you what, friends- Hey, hey, hey
Woo!