I Wish I Was Back On The Farm

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm
I wish I was back on the farm
If you want to learn your lesson
Just you hear what I'm confessin'
Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

Now when I was just a hayseed
With a straw stuck in my mouth
I packed my bag and took a train
That was headin' for the south
I wandered through the city streets
And everything was new
But all the coppers moved me on
And the girls they moved me too

Now, I wish I was back on the farm
Indeed to goodness, I do, look you
Yes, I wish I was back on the farm
Oh, I do, I do, I do
Where the bulls don't put it over, no
And the cows stop in the clover, look you
I wish I was back on the farm
Indeed I do

Now a pretty girl came up to me
And she began to chat
She said she'd give me something nice
If I'd go up to her flat
I said I'd like a cuppa tea
She seemed to think it odd
And when I said it's time to go
She charged me thirty bob

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm
Yes, I wish I was down on the farm
Where there's fun and plenty of it
And it isn't done for profit
Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

Now I went into a nightclub
Where a lady did a dance
She'd nothing on but pigeons
And she left the rest to chance
She didn't seem to feel the cold
The birds knew where to stay
I clapped my hands and shouted
But they wouldn't go away

Oh, I wish she was back on our farm
Yes, I wish she was back on our farm
She'd have nothing on whatever
'Cause our pigeons aren't that clever
Oh, I wish she was back on our farm