An Ode to My Facial Hair

My facial hair is much admired...
It causes folks to swoon,
And sets their hearts a-fluttering
Each time I start to croon.
I follow all the up to date tonsorial advice,
And use all sorts of balms and oils
To keep it smelling nice.

My facial hair makes my jaw look strong,
And hides my double chin...
Though it can make me look toothless if
I crack to wide a grin.
It states that I'm intelligent,
Mature, wise and sincere,
And I gain a second mustache when
I try to drink a beer.

My facial hair can be a pain
Although I love it so...
It stops our lips from touching when
I try to kiss my boo.
It can be hard to sip from spoons
And it may seem somewhat rude,
That I attempt to hide my face
When eating messy food.

My partner loves my facial hair
And smiles at it with pride.
The one time That I shaved it off
She looked quite horrified.
She said my smooth and boyish face
Was just too much to bear...
And if I shaved it off again
She'd leave me then and there.