Carnival of Schadenfreude

Here in the Carnival of Schadenfreude
Everyone's acting like they're so annoyed
Looks like my name is mud
I can't help but ask So what?
I'm trying to make a buck, not friends
Everyone's piling on
If I had a magic wand
I'd offer to shove it up their ass

Deep in the ugly heart of Texas now
They called it a battle of the sexes - wow!
It all seems a little fake
I can't seem to catch a break
My gosh and for goodness' sake it's silly
Fat kicked me in the pants
But I got paid in advance
Enjoy that 30, 000 dollar mess!

Here in the Carnival of Schadenfreude
Everyone's saying that I'm unemployed
Kick a man while he's down,
You'd better make sure he's out for good
Or you're gonna have a problem
Hey, go ahead and laugh
'Cause guess what, ya chumps?
I'm back and I won't forget who sold me out