I’m Growing a Beard Downstairs for Christmas

[00:05.57] When I was a girl
[00:06.45] Just a little girl
[00:08.29] I couldn't wait 'til I became a woman
[00:10.98] And I could grow a thatch of curls
[00:14.53] A deep dark forest to keep me warm in this cold world
[00:18.16] And days became weeks
[00:19.90] weeks became months
[00:20.87] months turned to years
[00:22.68] and it was like magic
[00:24.41] it grew and grew
[00:26.37] the greatest bush
[00:28.10] that the kingdom ever knew
[00:30.85] but at the turn of the millenium
[00:34.44] a fever gripped the land
[00:38.06] it was decreed that all the women
[00:42.57] look like little girls again
[00:44.37] but now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[00:49.84] growing a downstairs beard for you
[00:52.57] I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[00:56.17] growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
[00:58.88] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[01:03.33] I'm growing it strong and true
[01:06.33] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[01:12.78] When I was a boy
[01:13.66] Just a little boy
[01:15.42] I was embarrassed by my body's changes
[01:19.07] but then one day at the local pool
[01:21.73] I saw a life guard with hair growing out of his anus
[01:25.36] I was so impressed
[01:27.10] it looked like Tom Selleck's chest
[01:28.07] he was so proud as he towlled it down
[01:30.73] I couldn't wait to cultivate
[01:35.36] my very own hairy bum gown
[01:38.96] but at the turn of the millenium
[01:41.61] spandex gripped the land
[01:46.19] every back sack and crack was attacked with wax
[01:48.83] now I'm growing it back
[01:50.62] a gift for you to unwrap
[01:55.27] now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[01:57.92] growing a downstairs beard for you
[02:01.53] I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[02:05.14] growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
[02:08.73] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[02:13.39] I'm growing it strong and true
[02:16.09] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[02:21.69] We'll keep each other warm at night
[02:27.06] with our jingle bell hairy stalactites
[02:36.17] We'll watch each other grow and grow
[02:41.53] I'll stick to you
[02:43.34] I'll stick to you
[02:45.14] like velcro
[02:47.82] now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[02:50.67] growing a downstairs beard for you
[02:54.28] I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[02:57.80] growing it big, growing it thick
[03:00.54] now I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[03:04.10] growing a downstairs beard for you
[03:06.87] I'm growing a beard downstairs for christmas
[03:10.56] growing it big, growing it thick, growin' it for you
[03:14.17] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[03:18.67] I'm growing it strong and true
[03:21.33] Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas baby
[03:28.00]