If I Were a...I'd

If I believed everything I saw on television
I'd...

Think like Brady Bunch
Eat Wendy's for lunch
Drive a Datsun Subaru and never question much
Get a 9 to 5, never have a life
Married at 20 have 2 kids then divorce my wife
Then I'll be a cop! And I won't be stopped
Power trippin' robot just chewin' off your ear