Encore

Thank you! Alright, I guess it wouldn't be fair to get out of here

Without doing one or two ways how to tell you might be a redneck

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they
All say Cool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck

If the biggest city you've ever been
To is Walmart, you might be a redneck

If your working television sits on top of your
Non-working television, you might be a redneck

If you thought the Unabomber was a wrestler, you might be a redneck

If you've ever used your ironing board as
A buffet table, you might be a redneck

If you think a quarter horse is that ride
In front of Kmart, you might be a redneck

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a
Cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck

If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does a hundred thousand
Dollars worth of improvements, you might be a redneck

If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher... Let

Me give you a little background on that one. I am doing a radio
Show in Dallas, Texas, and a woman called that one in. And I
Just started laughing. I said, "You know what makes this funny
Is I know you're not making it up." You know she walked in the
Bathroom one day, looked at her husband, said, "What are you
Doing?" "Well, I am scratching my back. What does it look like?"

If you've ever asked the preacher, "
How's it hanging?", you might be a redneck

If you missed fifth grade graduation because
You had jury duty, you might be a redneck

If you think fast food is hitting a deer at sixty-
Five miles an hour, you might be a redneck

If somebody tells you you have something in your teeth and
You take them out to see what it is, you might be a redneck

If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice
Because it said concentrate, you might be a redneck

Good night, God bless you. Thank you!