Faux Fur, Diamonds & Jizz
๐ต 1354 characters
โฑ๏ธ 2:37 duration
๐ ID: 28184708
๐ Lyrics
If you would, please, a nice round of applause
And welcome to Denver, Natasha Leggero
(Whoa!) Hi! (wow)
It's great to be here, Denver, hello
Don't worry, it's fur
Oh, that says faux, sorry
Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21
Thank you
My friend's like, "You know, Natasha, you shouldn't shop there
All their clothes are made by third world children in sweatshops"
Like it's my fault those baby factory workers are such excellent sewers
I know it's hard to come out and listen to comedy
With all these environmental disasters going on, it's so sad
Can you believe we're running out of diamonds?
How are we gonna make more diamonds?
The only way I know how to make a diamond
Is to jerk off an old man
Way more messy than scrubbing some oil off some seagulls
So, uh, sorry, I don't usually do dirty jokes, a lot of comics do them
I think it's a really cheap way to get a laugh
Maybe I'm being judgmental, it's just not my cup of jizz, so
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like
"Hey, Natasha, don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?"
And I'm like, "Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?"
I just broke up with a guy, hold your applause
It's hard breaking up with someone, though
Girls, you know, when you have to be the one that says it
Listen, you've run out of money
I've, uh-
And welcome to Denver, Natasha Leggero
(Whoa!) Hi! (wow)
It's great to be here, Denver, hello
Don't worry, it's fur
Oh, that says faux, sorry
Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21
Thank you
My friend's like, "You know, Natasha, you shouldn't shop there
All their clothes are made by third world children in sweatshops"
Like it's my fault those baby factory workers are such excellent sewers
I know it's hard to come out and listen to comedy
With all these environmental disasters going on, it's so sad
Can you believe we're running out of diamonds?
How are we gonna make more diamonds?
The only way I know how to make a diamond
Is to jerk off an old man
Way more messy than scrubbing some oil off some seagulls
So, uh, sorry, I don't usually do dirty jokes, a lot of comics do them
I think it's a really cheap way to get a laugh
Maybe I'm being judgmental, it's just not my cup of jizz, so
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like
"Hey, Natasha, don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?"
And I'm like, "Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?"
I just broke up with a guy, hold your applause
It's hard breaking up with someone, though
Girls, you know, when you have to be the one that says it
Listen, you've run out of money
I've, uh-
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.21] If you would, please, a nice round of applause
[00:02.28] And welcome to Denver, Natasha Leggero
[00:13.82] (Whoa!) Hi! (wow)
[00:18.79] It's great to be here, Denver, hello
[00:24.43] Don't worry, it's fur
[00:27.92] Oh, that says faux, sorry
[00:35.07] Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21
[00:39.49] Thank you
[00:41.30] My friend's like, "You know, Natasha, you shouldn't shop there
[00:43.51] All their clothes are made by third world children in sweatshops"
[00:47.02] Like it's my fault those baby factory workers are such excellent sewers
[00:58.02] I know it's hard to come out and listen to comedy
[01:00.00] With all these environmental disasters going on, it's so sad
[01:04.09] Can you believe we're running out of diamonds?
[01:09.26] How are we gonna make more diamonds?
[01:12.06] The only way I know how to make a diamond
[01:13.44] Is to jerk off an old man
[01:15.28]
[01:31.31] Way more messy than scrubbing some oil off some seagulls
[01:37.77] So, uh, sorry, I don't usually do dirty jokes, a lot of comics do them
[01:41.31] I think it's a really cheap way to get a laugh
[01:44.12] Maybe I'm being judgmental, it's just not my cup of jizz, so
[01:52.64] Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like
[01:55.14] "Hey, Natasha, don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?"
[01:59.51] And I'm like, "Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?"
[02:11.95] I just broke up with a guy, hold your applause
[02:16.88] It's hard breaking up with someone, though
[02:18.14] Girls, you know, when you have to be the one that says it
[02:20.96] Listen, you've run out of money
[02:35.35] I've, uh-
[02:36.80]
[00:02.28] And welcome to Denver, Natasha Leggero
[00:13.82] (Whoa!) Hi! (wow)
[00:18.79] It's great to be here, Denver, hello
[00:24.43] Don't worry, it's fur
[00:27.92] Oh, that says faux, sorry
[00:35.07] Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21
[00:39.49] Thank you
[00:41.30] My friend's like, "You know, Natasha, you shouldn't shop there
[00:43.51] All their clothes are made by third world children in sweatshops"
[00:47.02] Like it's my fault those baby factory workers are such excellent sewers
[00:58.02] I know it's hard to come out and listen to comedy
[01:00.00] With all these environmental disasters going on, it's so sad
[01:04.09] Can you believe we're running out of diamonds?
[01:09.26] How are we gonna make more diamonds?
[01:12.06] The only way I know how to make a diamond
[01:13.44] Is to jerk off an old man
[01:15.28]
[01:31.31] Way more messy than scrubbing some oil off some seagulls
[01:37.77] So, uh, sorry, I don't usually do dirty jokes, a lot of comics do them
[01:41.31] I think it's a really cheap way to get a laugh
[01:44.12] Maybe I'm being judgmental, it's just not my cup of jizz, so
[01:52.64] Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like
[01:55.14] "Hey, Natasha, don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?"
[01:59.51] And I'm like, "Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?"
[02:11.95] I just broke up with a guy, hold your applause
[02:16.88] It's hard breaking up with someone, though
[02:18.14] Girls, you know, when you have to be the one that says it
[02:20.96] Listen, you've run out of money
[02:35.35] I've, uh-
[02:36.80]