Up My Ass

Oh yeah...
Up my ass.
Up my ass!
A lit candle!
Up my ass!
A firecracker, a finger, a thumb...
Up my ass!
An egg, a vibratin' egg, a scrambled egg...
Up my ass!
A dildo, strapped onto a mannequin, wearing a Nixon mask...
Up my ass!

Power tools, an electric drill
A screwdriver, a monkey wrench...
Up my ass!
A monkey...
Up my ass!

A potpourri of assorted fragrances
Up my ass!
Up my smelly asshole!
'Cause I'm not one of those guys
Who walks around pretending
That my shit don't stink
My shit stinks!
I admit it!
And right now
There is a lot of shit...
Up my ass!
Up my ass!
Up my ass!
Up my ass!
And to the left

Up my ass!
Step right up!
Step right up!
Come one, come all!
Up my ass!
Everyone and everything!
Up my ass!
Everything except for your skanky
Bullshit, artificial, plastic dick (oh yeah)
Looks like you bought it at the K-Mart!
(Up my ass)
Fuck you with your bogus dildo(oh yeah)
You can shove that up your ass, honey, not mine!
Up my ass!
I got a special gift for you...
Right here...
Come and get it...
It's up my ass!
Up my ass!
Up my ass!
Up my ass!

The Louisiana Purchase...
Up my ass (up my ass)!
The Encyclopædia Britannica...
(Up my ass!)
Up my ass!
(Up my ass!)
Your grandmother...
Up my ass!
Shields and Yarnell...
Up my ass!
Chocolates.
Lollipops...
Cakes and pies...
And it's all for free.
Children...
Children