The Gift

This was after we had buried my father
In the soft earth of the Santa Cruz Valley
That same graveyard on the hill
Where our whole clan will eventually be re-planted
And we swung dirges in the midday
As the shepherd and his flock dealt with my father
They had placed white flowers around his neck
But oh, when that first dirt dashed the casket lid
No amount of ritual can protect you
From that sound when it hits

We lit candles upon the tumulus of dirt
Which lay heavy upon him
Heavier than when I pressed his breastbone in the chapel
While outside, beyond the farmlands
Deep in the country
The river continued to run
Not knowing that my father had died
And we waited until he was well settled in the dirt before we left

And back at the house
I started rapping with the cousin with the long, long dread
That rap up in a scroll, the one with the Biblical name
The one who say he don't communicate by computer

This was when we were standing at the gate
Ready to leave that house of mourning
This was after the jewel bag get bring out
And my brother and I had to choose which as heirlooms
The silver ring with the raised initials of his name
But he laughed and he never told me
What those letters spelled when I asked him

In 1978
See me walk in the yard
Hip in my English waistcoat
Tall in the saddle like big scissors cutting

And Mama D, Mama D, who also loved him
And who could tell you the names of all his children
Even those he forgot
She was saying, "Look
Look how you end up where you is
When things could've been so different
Well, it's all them prayers and benediction
Your people put on you
Coming down through generation
The hope was you

It's the asafoetida the old lady burn
All the praise she pray 'til her knees burst open
And all those orishas must have conjured some power
'Til her love became a chant to kill death
A fetish to protect you on this journey
We may live and die
But what is between is ours to keep"

She gave what she had