Closer

I passed out, i couldn't stay awake.
Today's not unlike other days that led
Me to this place, they all feel the same.
I struggle to build memories,
And i can't feel what's inside of me or navigate this space at all.
But all these thoughts and fears and words that imply i'm
Not trying, and hyper fixate on my failures, only serve myself.
Caught in the days where the lines bleed
Together, between the last scourge and the next failure.
Seems every time that i've felt my life changing,
It's not good or bad just an altered arrangement.
I see it now.
My hopes betray reality, and i can't see what's in front of me.
I'm consumed in a grind with nothing to show for all this time.
These moments pass and then they fade, homogenize into the gray:
Always exhausted, asleep in broad daylight,
I wish i could sleep for the rest of my life.
Too sore to move, awake, but still in bed,
Glued to my sheets and trapped in my head.
I'm calling it quits,
I was fucked from the start, and all of the waiting tore me apart.
The endless cycle crushes my heart,
Our lives fall to shit, reform and restart.
We get up each morning,
The past on our shoulders, and live out the same days over and over.
We fall into bed,
Brush the past from our shoulders,
And relive the nightmare over and over.
Do you see it now?
You read me like a book, didn't you?