Magic Fortune‐Telling Machine
🎵 1264 characters
⏱️ 2:51 duration
🆔 ID: 28967140
📜 Lyrics
Pulled all the coins in the slot
Sagittarius
This machine predicted my future
Too drunk to find my way out
Unconventional
Now I was a man with a future
I was sat in a huddle on the floor
What I'd learnt, I needed to learn more
I stuck in five quid in coins
Capricorn
This machine was bang on the money
Except my height and my weight
Busukanamis
And several other comments unfunny
Into the spotlight, love and laughter
I'll live with dignity hereafter
And then in barges a Jihadi who attempts to slit my throat
He's got mates doing the same thing
I'm drunker than a stoke
But they're gone before I know it
Now the whole place is calm
I got four quid left in coins and soon they work like a charm
Magic fortune telling machine
Leaned up against the machine
As you do
And slid down to the floor like warm ice cream
The machine was taking its time
Making it's mind
But I bet a mile away they heard my scream
The Jihadis were back, the Jihadis were mad
And their knives were perfect for Jihad
Then from the fortune-telling machine comes a tape-for-tape parade
Predicting now my imminent dispatch by their blades
I took a final swiggy of my poison du jour
And left the planet happy knowing I'd be judged pure
Magic fortune telling machine
And then my money ran out
Sagittarius
This machine predicted my future
Too drunk to find my way out
Unconventional
Now I was a man with a future
I was sat in a huddle on the floor
What I'd learnt, I needed to learn more
I stuck in five quid in coins
Capricorn
This machine was bang on the money
Except my height and my weight
Busukanamis
And several other comments unfunny
Into the spotlight, love and laughter
I'll live with dignity hereafter
And then in barges a Jihadi who attempts to slit my throat
He's got mates doing the same thing
I'm drunker than a stoke
But they're gone before I know it
Now the whole place is calm
I got four quid left in coins and soon they work like a charm
Magic fortune telling machine
Leaned up against the machine
As you do
And slid down to the floor like warm ice cream
The machine was taking its time
Making it's mind
But I bet a mile away they heard my scream
The Jihadis were back, the Jihadis were mad
And their knives were perfect for Jihad
Then from the fortune-telling machine comes a tape-for-tape parade
Predicting now my imminent dispatch by their blades
I took a final swiggy of my poison du jour
And left the planet happy knowing I'd be judged pure
Magic fortune telling machine
And then my money ran out
⏱️ Synced Lyrics
[00:01.37] Pulled all the coins in the slot
[00:05.98] Sagittarius
[00:07.51] This machine predicted my future
[00:11.87] Too drunk to find my way out
[00:16.31] Unconventional
[00:18.15] Now I was a man with a future
[00:22.84] I was sat in a huddle on the floor
[00:28.05] What I'd learnt, I needed to learn more
[00:38.18] I stuck in five quid in coins
[00:42.67] Capricorn
[00:44.34] This machine was bang on the money
[00:48.67] Except my height and my weight
[00:53.07] Busukanamis
[00:54.48] And several other comments unfunny
[00:59.93] Into the spotlight, love and laughter
[01:05.24] I'll live with dignity hereafter
[01:13.18] And then in barges a Jihadi who attempts to slit my throat
[01:18.36] He's got mates doing the same thing
[01:21.03] I'm drunker than a stoke
[01:23.17] But they're gone before I know it
[01:25.62] Now the whole place is calm
[01:28.26] I got four quid left in coins and soon they work like a charm
[01:33.10] Magic fortune telling machine
[01:38.47] Leaned up against the machine
[01:42.13] As you do
[01:43.96] And slid down to the floor like warm ice cream
[01:48.46] The machine was taking its time
[01:51.81] Making it's mind
[01:53.79] But I bet a mile away they heard my scream
[01:58.63] The Jihadis were back, the Jihadis were mad
[02:03.82] And their knives were perfect for Jihad
[02:12.17] Then from the fortune-telling machine comes a tape-for-tape parade
[02:17.62] Predicting now my imminent dispatch by their blades
[02:22.64] I took a final swiggy of my poison du jour
[02:27.44] And left the planet happy knowing I'd be judged pure
[02:32.03] Magic fortune telling machine
[02:37.29] And then my money ran out
[02:51.09]
[00:05.98] Sagittarius
[00:07.51] This machine predicted my future
[00:11.87] Too drunk to find my way out
[00:16.31] Unconventional
[00:18.15] Now I was a man with a future
[00:22.84] I was sat in a huddle on the floor
[00:28.05] What I'd learnt, I needed to learn more
[00:38.18] I stuck in five quid in coins
[00:42.67] Capricorn
[00:44.34] This machine was bang on the money
[00:48.67] Except my height and my weight
[00:53.07] Busukanamis
[00:54.48] And several other comments unfunny
[00:59.93] Into the spotlight, love and laughter
[01:05.24] I'll live with dignity hereafter
[01:13.18] And then in barges a Jihadi who attempts to slit my throat
[01:18.36] He's got mates doing the same thing
[01:21.03] I'm drunker than a stoke
[01:23.17] But they're gone before I know it
[01:25.62] Now the whole place is calm
[01:28.26] I got four quid left in coins and soon they work like a charm
[01:33.10] Magic fortune telling machine
[01:38.47] Leaned up against the machine
[01:42.13] As you do
[01:43.96] And slid down to the floor like warm ice cream
[01:48.46] The machine was taking its time
[01:51.81] Making it's mind
[01:53.79] But I bet a mile away they heard my scream
[01:58.63] The Jihadis were back, the Jihadis were mad
[02:03.82] And their knives were perfect for Jihad
[02:12.17] Then from the fortune-telling machine comes a tape-for-tape parade
[02:17.62] Predicting now my imminent dispatch by their blades
[02:22.64] I took a final swiggy of my poison du jour
[02:27.44] And left the planet happy knowing I'd be judged pure
[02:32.03] Magic fortune telling machine
[02:37.29] And then my money ran out
[02:51.09]