Microwave Mayo

I found Victor Von Doom and his father
The next morning, nearly frozen to death
They have murdered my mother and now they have killed my father
They will pay. All of mankind shall pay for this!
Even then I had the uneasy feeling it wasn't
Young Victor Von Doom who would need my protection
Here he became Doctor Doom

Chain smoking beedis 'til his brain's broken completely
Get back on his feet, work out, and eat some Wheaties
Greedy for the cheese, please, most couldn't fathom
Had 'em in a cobra clutch, when he spat the mad hymn
Gems, collection of brats, Timbs and hats
Had no time for the pitty pat, I'll give him that
The rhythm hit him back with a right hook
Took it off, bought a shine, I thought it was an aight look
Depends on the shades, the end of days fades
Pretenders lay in dazes on stages, DOOM melees
Eat it up, microphone, microwave, mayonnaise
His own way was strange, but it matters not
Tuned into a frequency tone that shattered rock
Hold it down like Shatner do Spock, rapper jocks
Need to put a sock in they chatterbox
The block got lied of Vioxx stock
Folks gather round, it's no joke like knock knock
It's them, they came home to roost y'all
And watch him transform the game to the rules of foosball
She's too small, any questions?
Him could squeeze blood from a penny in a recession
Keep guessin', it gets deeper than depression
The power of suggestion, wake a sleeper, peep the lesson
Dig that beat
Ripped it with metal fingers and stomped it with big fat feet
And you know what they say, cut the hay
Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated
But today, it's all great, metallic with a ruby stone
Rude like the type of dudes you could write a movie on
Hardcore porn, did his own stunts
Writ his own rhymes and split his own blunts once
In a while, every other minute
Eyes pop out, Popeye, heavy on the spinach
Steady on his business and ready with a ill pitch
Keeps a bad business, identical some ill snitch
No hitch, just a shitload of spit and sneeze
Strictly G, stack it up off a rack of hidden fees
Rap is like the gay club strip tease
With hippies on the yip sayin', "Hey bub, grip these"
They screamin' for attention
Beamin' at the mention of a scary demon convention
You could cut the tension with a switchblade
And serve it on the same plate of hors d'oeuvres a witch made
Filet, persuaded the chambermaid
To bet her paycheck on a get naked game of Spades
Straight up, no chaser, no layaways
Caution: faint taste of microwave mayonnaise

DOOM has taken over every continent
Here he became Doctor Doom