Fecal Torpedo

Got explosive diarrhea
Wonder if it was from a nasty tortilla...
Shit came shooting out in squirts
Thought my anus was writing in Morse

Suddenly I started to spew
Figured I had the Asian flu!

Went straight to the hospital
But the vomiting was unstoppable
Threw all over nurses' boobs
Even puked carrots in cubes!

Thought I was meeting my end
As I felt my butthole distend
Got all feverish and sweaty
Didn't even get a boner with nurse Betty

And as the stomach pain got more intense
Things started to make sense
I'll die without a hump
And I could really use some suction pump

As a I saw an old lady in coma
I figured: "why not hit her with my cobra?"

Turns out it was just food poisoning from a burrito
That turned into a fecal torpedo
Still a totally worthy pussy
Even though massively bushy