Second Announcements

Get one now, everybody has one, they're almost gone
They're portable, lightweight, easy to use
Collapsible, convenient, and guaranteed, get one now
The new Super Jumbo Deluxe
Handy, pre-wrapped, designer colors, and available in all sizes
Get one now, they won't rust, tarnish, blister, crack, or peel
But they might kill you
Hello, I'm Howard Beemer and I'm running for state's attorney general
This is my pledge to you
If I'm elected, I promise that if anyone breaks the law
I personally will go to his or her house and beat the shit out of them
Backwards words say to yous die
Again go I there, shit oh
The following statement is true
The preceding statement was false
On Saturday morning, it's adventure time
Don't miss Frontier
The story of thirty people who brave bitter weather
Loneliness, disease, starvation, and hostile Indians to reach Utah
Only to find they don't like it there
Then it's Ranger Dan and His Big Dog Dick
Or Ranger Dan and His Big Dog Dick