How to Get Your Band on TV ("Prelude" and "Slag Aid")

I'm the boss
Of the company
And I've got hunger
Working for me
Listen, and you'll begin to understand
I build my profits
On stolen land
It's the economics
Of supply and demand
And I make the demands around here

Product sells
People die
Same manipulation
Wrapped in lies
Give a little money
And play your Rock and Roll
The biggest prizes
To the biggest fools

Good evening, ladies and gentleman
Welcome to the show where, you, the audience participates
On our show tonight
We've got lots of surprises in store for you, at home
In keeping with the fashion
For charity, no change
Is our contribution
We've called it "Slag Aid"
For every Pop-Star that we slag off today
A million pounds will be given away!

Paul McCartney, come on down!
With crocodile tears to irrigate this ground
Make an Ethiopia, a fertile paradise
Where everyone sings Beatle songs and buys shares in EMI
Charity, starvation and Rock and Roll
Let it be, ay, Paulie?

Freddie Mercury, this is your life
Thank the Lord that you were born white
And thank Apartheid for this wonderful opportunity
To peddle your hypocrisy in Sun City
A bit of a hot potato in a moment, ay, Fred, in South Africa?
Well I'm sure there's a video in there somewhere

David Bowie, the price is right
With a suit full of compassion, and a gut full of shite
Still the voices of those who would doubt
Coca-Cola for the peasants to end this drought
David, the world can only take so much
And with you around, we're in for a really hard time

Jagger and Richards, game for a laugh
Dancing us down the garden path
To a place where money grows on trees
Where cocaine habits are financed by hunger and disease
There's only one mountain in the rock and roll business
Ladies and gentleman, and it's Mick Jagger

(Ask the puppet masters, who pull the strings)
(Who makes the money when the puppets sing?)
(Ask the corporations where does the money go)
(Ask the empty-bellied children what are we singing for?)
And Cliff Richard
Three, two, one
The God who remains when the religion's gone
Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today
So, come up closer, step this way
Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth
Such a purist saint, come to bless out Earth
But, on behalf of our viewers watching on Telly
And, on behalf of the millions with empty bellies
We're donating something special
That we're all going to like
Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight!

Ladies and gentleman, just imagine it
Someone comes along
Takes everything you own, your space, your house
Separates you from your family
And then hits you in the face if you say any different
Well, that's what we've been doing to the third world
For the past four-hundred years
That's you and me
You, the viewers at home
Me, in the studio
The Pop-Stars
Everyone
That's how we make the third world
Everyday
Today
And everyday
If you want any correspondence with the program
Just send your answers, letter bombs only
To BP House
Victoria Secret
London
SW1
Thank you, and good night!
Feed the world, starve the rich, good night!

(I know there must be more)
(I know there must be more)
Than giving just a little bit more
When half of this world is so helplessly poor
Starved of the real solution
Charity and tradition
And the cycle of hungry children
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
'Till we burn the house of commons to the ground