Becky Apples

Jeffica
Becky Apples
Ugh, Jeffica
I bet Becky's got perfect hair
Jeffica
Jeffica's got stupid, stupid hooves
Listen, I'm never gonna eat another apple ever again
Ooh, it really bunches my wool to think how badly she hurt you
Baby girl, tell me a story
I left my Rider so that I could raise an army
So that you could raise an army
Then Sea Dog popped up and he said something alarming
Ooh, what'd he say?
He told me that my best friend's ridden (No)
Another horse so pretty (No way!)
And her name is Becky Apples
Because, ugh, of course it is

Becky Apples, Becky Apples
What a gorgeous, fancy shmuck
Becky, how you like them apples?
'Cause I think your apples suck
Becky Apples, Becky Apples
Guess what? I knew Rider first
And while technically I don't know Becky
I know she's the worst

Ugh, she is so the worst horse
Right? Ugh
It's unbelievable
Stupid Becky
But can I tell you about someone who's
Kind of a total Becky in my life?
Uh, okay, I g— I mean, I'm kinda not done being mad about Becky Apples

Well, I was flirtin', flirtin' with this slick mer-dude
Eh, that was not the same situation
He was the finest carny that I've ever pursued
There was more than one?
He played me like a ukulele
He did?
I don't want no drama, baby
Do I?
But I flipped when I found out his girlfriend was a llama lady
Oh, that Jeffica, that Jeffica's got stupid, pretty legs
And I bet that sunfish mer-guy would let her adopt his eggs
Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica
Ugh, even her wool is perkier
Maybe Jeffica's flirty boyfriend is the one who's the actual jerk here
Ooh, Jeffica, making me feel bad about projecting my own insecurities
And displacing blame on her when she really did nothing wrong
Ugh, she's the worst
Ahem
Oh, right, you're sad

I feel your pain, girl, I'm your Vindicator
And we don't know Jeffica, Becky
We just know we hate her
This isn't okay and this isn't fine
Let it out, baby girl
It's just I thought Rider would always be mine