Every Time

In the midnight I fall
You catch me
You are always on call
And in the darkness I can fool myself
Not seeing you were never there at all
I'm never sure that you were real at all

All this heat's left me dry
Just wishing I could spend my evenings home crying
And that's the point of this whole mess, isn't it?
Keep finding new ways just to feel alive
Too bad that living always feels like dying

What is there left to do
But fall into the labyrinth of my mind?
What would you have to say
To make the fear evaporate?
I need something to hold onto
That isn't you

Smoke your last cigarette
I promise after this I'll quit
But the addiction's only part of it
It's so much harder just to try to exist
All this uncertainty, it makes me feel sick

What is there left to do
But fall into the labyrinth of my mind?
What would you have to say
To make the fear evaporate?
I need something to hold onto
That isn't you

And I've become increasingly dependent on your smile
It's the cul-de-sac that I forget to turn around in every time
And it's the picture I'm hanging on my shelf
Just like me to forget my health
Every time