Romance and Imported Rubbers (I Seen This on TV...No Lie)
๐ต 5990 characters
โฑ๏ธ 6:35 duration
๐ ID: 30344146
๐ Lyrics
I always hated how women always stuffed everything in the medicine
Cabinet and then when we fellers opened up the medicine cabinet
Razor blades and toothbrushes and all kinds of stuff hit us in the
Head. I was with this one girl and she was cramping up or something
And that's a horrible thing. I don't know how y'all do that but you
Should use it to your advantage though. You know what I mean? You get
Pulled over, "Can I see your license?" "I'm cramping." "Oh, get the
Hell out of here. Get out of here. Go on. I only got one bullet."
But she was cramping so I went to get her some aspirin out the
Daggone medicine cabinet and opened up that medicine cabinet and a
Tampon float out of there, hit me in the eyeball, landed in the
Toilet and when it hit the water it went . I'm like, "Look at the
Size of that thing right there. You need to buy a smaller size or
Something. That's where the cramps are coming from right there. No
Wonder I can't satisfy you no more." Good Lord. Good Lord, look at
The sight. You got a pull string rubber raft in between your legs
When you're walking around. How can you survive? It's too bad the
Titanic didn't sink on the 28th day of the month. Could have thrown
Some tampons in there, sopped up a lot of that water there. Saved
Some lives with the tampon sopping. That's right. Broke up with a
Girl not long ago over religious reasons. I'm Baptist, she was a
Bitch, you know, so we had to... It just didn't work out and I loved
Her too. This is the only girl I ever made love to with my pants
Completely down, alright? I mean we had, we had a special bond right
There but it didn't work out. I always hate it when a girl always
Said to you, "Let's just be friends." And God bless you, you don't
Want to hurt her feelings but don't say, "Let's just be friends."
That's like your mom telling you the dog died but you can still keep
It if you want to. I'll tell you what you need to do though. You need
To be, nowadays, you need to be protected and that's why I'm here
Tonight to shed the news of wearing rubbers and I always try to do a
Good deed everywhere I can. But I tell you what, I'm sick and tired
Of buying them because it's embarrassing. I mean you come in treating
Small, medium, large. There ain't no feller in here buying a damn
Medium rubber, I'll tell you that right now. It's embarrassing
I know I ain't. It's embarrassing. I'm always at the 7-Eleven buying
Rubbers. People walk in, I'm like, "Oh, forget what you got up there
Got a couple of trash can liners in the back back there somewhere?
Put a couple of twisty ties in there while you're at it there or
Something there." But they got these rubbers that's imported from
Australia. I don't know if you've seen these or not. This was on the
60 Minutes. They're made out of lambskin. Have you heard about these?
This is a true story. 16 different sizes. I mean you can get fitted
For them. And so I went down to get fitted for these and they give
You a piece of plywood with 16 holes drilled in there to see what
Size you are. This is a true story. I seen it on TV. They thought of
Everything. It's well sanded and everything. I mean they got it all
Worked out. So I go in there for a couple hours and I come out
I was like, "Forget the rubbers. What do y'all want for the board
You got in there? Get her done." You need to be safe though because
There's a lot of girls you meet that are kind of kinky and that's
Irritating because I ain't into all that. I'll tell you this. Here's
About as bad as I get. I like two girls at the same time and that's
Only because I need a spotter, alright? I do. I got one heck of a
Dismount, I'll tell you right now. It's pretty good. Kind of a back
Flip, half twist. It's really nice. Alls I care about is if they move
Or not. That's what I care about. I used to date, this one girl I
Was with never even moved. I had to make love to her on an air hockey
Table all the time and it's not, every time I get into the rhythm I
Have to stop, put quarters in. It sucked. They finally throwed us
Out of Chuck E. Cheese after a couple weeks in there but they were
Pissed too. They were like, "You get your girlfriend, get her in a
Wheelchair and get the hell out of here. We've had it with you people
In here." Well, you got an air hockey table. What do you want me to
Do? But they got a lot of all that kinky stuff out there which I
Ain't much into and I'll tell you what irritates me. I was at the
Mall at the bookstore and they had some sort of a medical book or
Something at the book and it showed different sexual positions and
That kind of irritated me because kids go in the mall. They can pick
Up any book they want and you shouldn't have that in there for kids
It irritated me and I bought them and got them the hell out of there
You know, because I'm all about the kids up here. But there was one
Position in there I'm gonna talk to you about and I won't get too
Graphic on it but it's a 6-9. You know what that is. I ain't gonna
Talk no more about it, alright? But I remember, I'm telling you
This to tell you my experience. First time that ever happened to
Me, this girl goes, "I wanna do 6-9. I wanna do 6-9." I went, "
Whatever. Get me a beer. I don't even know what it is." You know
What I mean? So she's like, "Let's do 6-9. Let's do 6-9." So I'm
About to ask, "Well, what is that?" And before I could even say
Something, her hind end came boom on my head. About broke my damn
Nose. I can't breathe. I'm like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." She hit me
With four farts right on the side of the damn face. That's a true
Story. She farted on my damn face four times. Pissed me off. She
Almost knocked the truck out of gear. I'm all mad. She's like, "
Ain't you having fun?" I'm like, "Yeah, but I ain't gonna sit through
65 More of them daggone things." Man, I could barely handle the
Four that come out. They ought to change that position to 3 is what
They ought to do. I can handle three of them, not 69 of them. Yeah
Cabinet and then when we fellers opened up the medicine cabinet
Razor blades and toothbrushes and all kinds of stuff hit us in the
Head. I was with this one girl and she was cramping up or something
And that's a horrible thing. I don't know how y'all do that but you
Should use it to your advantage though. You know what I mean? You get
Pulled over, "Can I see your license?" "I'm cramping." "Oh, get the
Hell out of here. Get out of here. Go on. I only got one bullet."
But she was cramping so I went to get her some aspirin out the
Daggone medicine cabinet and opened up that medicine cabinet and a
Tampon float out of there, hit me in the eyeball, landed in the
Toilet and when it hit the water it went . I'm like, "Look at the
Size of that thing right there. You need to buy a smaller size or
Something. That's where the cramps are coming from right there. No
Wonder I can't satisfy you no more." Good Lord. Good Lord, look at
The sight. You got a pull string rubber raft in between your legs
When you're walking around. How can you survive? It's too bad the
Titanic didn't sink on the 28th day of the month. Could have thrown
Some tampons in there, sopped up a lot of that water there. Saved
Some lives with the tampon sopping. That's right. Broke up with a
Girl not long ago over religious reasons. I'm Baptist, she was a
Bitch, you know, so we had to... It just didn't work out and I loved
Her too. This is the only girl I ever made love to with my pants
Completely down, alright? I mean we had, we had a special bond right
There but it didn't work out. I always hate it when a girl always
Said to you, "Let's just be friends." And God bless you, you don't
Want to hurt her feelings but don't say, "Let's just be friends."
That's like your mom telling you the dog died but you can still keep
It if you want to. I'll tell you what you need to do though. You need
To be, nowadays, you need to be protected and that's why I'm here
Tonight to shed the news of wearing rubbers and I always try to do a
Good deed everywhere I can. But I tell you what, I'm sick and tired
Of buying them because it's embarrassing. I mean you come in treating
Small, medium, large. There ain't no feller in here buying a damn
Medium rubber, I'll tell you that right now. It's embarrassing
I know I ain't. It's embarrassing. I'm always at the 7-Eleven buying
Rubbers. People walk in, I'm like, "Oh, forget what you got up there
Got a couple of trash can liners in the back back there somewhere?
Put a couple of twisty ties in there while you're at it there or
Something there." But they got these rubbers that's imported from
Australia. I don't know if you've seen these or not. This was on the
60 Minutes. They're made out of lambskin. Have you heard about these?
This is a true story. 16 different sizes. I mean you can get fitted
For them. And so I went down to get fitted for these and they give
You a piece of plywood with 16 holes drilled in there to see what
Size you are. This is a true story. I seen it on TV. They thought of
Everything. It's well sanded and everything. I mean they got it all
Worked out. So I go in there for a couple hours and I come out
I was like, "Forget the rubbers. What do y'all want for the board
You got in there? Get her done." You need to be safe though because
There's a lot of girls you meet that are kind of kinky and that's
Irritating because I ain't into all that. I'll tell you this. Here's
About as bad as I get. I like two girls at the same time and that's
Only because I need a spotter, alright? I do. I got one heck of a
Dismount, I'll tell you right now. It's pretty good. Kind of a back
Flip, half twist. It's really nice. Alls I care about is if they move
Or not. That's what I care about. I used to date, this one girl I
Was with never even moved. I had to make love to her on an air hockey
Table all the time and it's not, every time I get into the rhythm I
Have to stop, put quarters in. It sucked. They finally throwed us
Out of Chuck E. Cheese after a couple weeks in there but they were
Pissed too. They were like, "You get your girlfriend, get her in a
Wheelchair and get the hell out of here. We've had it with you people
In here." Well, you got an air hockey table. What do you want me to
Do? But they got a lot of all that kinky stuff out there which I
Ain't much into and I'll tell you what irritates me. I was at the
Mall at the bookstore and they had some sort of a medical book or
Something at the book and it showed different sexual positions and
That kind of irritated me because kids go in the mall. They can pick
Up any book they want and you shouldn't have that in there for kids
It irritated me and I bought them and got them the hell out of there
You know, because I'm all about the kids up here. But there was one
Position in there I'm gonna talk to you about and I won't get too
Graphic on it but it's a 6-9. You know what that is. I ain't gonna
Talk no more about it, alright? But I remember, I'm telling you
This to tell you my experience. First time that ever happened to
Me, this girl goes, "I wanna do 6-9. I wanna do 6-9." I went, "
Whatever. Get me a beer. I don't even know what it is." You know
What I mean? So she's like, "Let's do 6-9. Let's do 6-9." So I'm
About to ask, "Well, what is that?" And before I could even say
Something, her hind end came boom on my head. About broke my damn
Nose. I can't breathe. I'm like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." She hit me
With four farts right on the side of the damn face. That's a true
Story. She farted on my damn face four times. Pissed me off. She
Almost knocked the truck out of gear. I'm all mad. She's like, "
Ain't you having fun?" I'm like, "Yeah, but I ain't gonna sit through
65 More of them daggone things." Man, I could barely handle the
Four that come out. They ought to change that position to 3 is what
They ought to do. I can handle three of them, not 69 of them. Yeah
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.32] I always hated how women always stuffed everything in the medicine
[00:04.73] Cabinet and then when we fellers opened up the medicine cabinet
[00:09.28] Razor blades and toothbrushes and all kinds of stuff hit us in the
[00:13.63] Head. I was with this one girl and she was cramping up or something
[00:18.10] And that's a horrible thing. I don't know how y'all do that but you
[00:22.52] Should use it to your advantage though. You know what I mean? You get
[00:26.93] Pulled over, "Can I see your license?" "I'm cramping." "Oh, get the
[00:31.48] Hell out of here. Get out of here. Go on. I only got one bullet."
[00:35.87] But she was cramping so I went to get her some aspirin out the
[00:40.26] Daggone medicine cabinet and opened up that medicine cabinet and a
[00:44.79] Tampon float out of there, hit me in the eyeball, landed in the
[00:49.13] Toilet and when it hit the water it went . I'm like, "Look at the
[00:53.67] Size of that thing right there. You need to buy a smaller size or
[00:58.06] Something. That's where the cramps are coming from right there. No
[01:02.55] Wonder I can't satisfy you no more." Good Lord. Good Lord, look at
[01:06.93] The sight. You got a pull string rubber raft in between your legs
[01:11.35] When you're walking around. How can you survive? It's too bad the
[01:15.85] Titanic didn't sink on the 28th day of the month. Could have thrown
[01:20.20] Some tampons in there, sopped up a lot of that water there. Saved
[01:24.76] Some lives with the tampon sopping. That's right. Broke up with a
[01:29.17] Girl not long ago over religious reasons. I'm Baptist, she was a
[01:33.51] Bitch, you know, so we had to... It just didn't work out and I loved
[01:38.08] Her too. This is the only girl I ever made love to with my pants
[01:42.45] Completely down, alright? I mean we had, we had a special bond right
[01:46.91] There but it didn't work out. I always hate it when a girl always
[01:51.33] Said to you, "Let's just be friends." And God bless you, you don't
[01:55.71] Want to hurt her feelings but don't say, "Let's just be friends."
[02:00.27] That's like your mom telling you the dog died but you can still keep
[02:04.69] It if you want to. I'll tell you what you need to do though. You need
[02:09.19] To be, nowadays, you need to be protected and that's why I'm here
[02:13.59] Tonight to shed the news of wearing rubbers and I always try to do a
[02:17.93] Good deed everywhere I can. But I tell you what, I'm sick and tired
[02:22.44] Of buying them because it's embarrassing. I mean you come in treating
[02:26.88] Small, medium, large. There ain't no feller in here buying a damn
[02:31.35] Medium rubber, I'll tell you that right now. It's embarrassing
[02:35.74] I know I ain't. It's embarrassing. I'm always at the 7-Eleven buying
[02:40.10] Rubbers. People walk in, I'm like, "Oh, forget what you got up there
[02:44.69] Got a couple of trash can liners in the back back there somewhere?
[02:49.02] Put a couple of twisty ties in there while you're at it there or
[02:53.58] Something there." But they got these rubbers that's imported from
[02:57.95] Australia. I don't know if you've seen these or not. This was on the
[03:02.32] 60 Minutes. They're made out of lambskin. Have you heard about these?
[03:06.81] This is a true story. 16 different sizes. I mean you can get fitted
[03:11.22] For them. And so I went down to get fitted for these and they give
[03:15.79] You a piece of plywood with 16 holes drilled in there to see what
[03:20.17] Size you are. This is a true story. I seen it on TV. They thought of
[03:24.55] Everything. It's well sanded and everything. I mean they got it all
[03:29.04] Worked out. So I go in there for a couple hours and I come out
[03:33.41] I was like, "Forget the rubbers. What do y'all want for the board
[03:37.95] You got in there? Get her done." You need to be safe though because
[03:42.30] There's a lot of girls you meet that are kind of kinky and that's
[03:46.78] Irritating because I ain't into all that. I'll tell you this. Here's
[03:51.26] About as bad as I get. I like two girls at the same time and that's
[03:55.68] Only because I need a spotter, alright? I do. I got one heck of a
[04:00.14] Dismount, I'll tell you right now. It's pretty good. Kind of a back
[04:04.58] Flip, half twist. It's really nice. Alls I care about is if they move
[04:08.92] Or not. That's what I care about. I used to date, this one girl I
[04:13.45] Was with never even moved. I had to make love to her on an air hockey
[04:17.86] Table all the time and it's not, every time I get into the rhythm I
[04:22.31] Have to stop, put quarters in. It sucked. They finally throwed us
[04:26.75] Out of Chuck E. Cheese after a couple weeks in there but they were
[04:31.15] Pissed too. They were like, "You get your girlfriend, get her in a
[04:35.63] Wheelchair and get the hell out of here. We've had it with you people
[04:40.08] In here." Well, you got an air hockey table. What do you want me to
[04:44.54] Do? But they got a lot of all that kinky stuff out there which I
[04:48.99] Ain't much into and I'll tell you what irritates me. I was at the
[04:53.32] Mall at the bookstore and they had some sort of a medical book or
[04:57.84] Something at the book and it showed different sexual positions and
[05:02.28] That kind of irritated me because kids go in the mall. They can pick
[05:06.75] Up any book they want and you shouldn't have that in there for kids
[05:11.13] It irritated me and I bought them and got them the hell out of there
[05:15.53] You know, because I'm all about the kids up here. But there was one
[05:20.08] Position in there I'm gonna talk to you about and I won't get too
[05:24.46] Graphic on it but it's a 6-9. You know what that is. I ain't gonna
[05:28.95] Talk no more about it, alright? But I remember, I'm telling you
[05:33.37] This to tell you my experience. First time that ever happened to
[05:37.72] Me, this girl goes, "I wanna do 6-9. I wanna do 6-9." I went, "
[05:42.21] Whatever. Get me a beer. I don't even know what it is." You know
[05:46.61] What I mean? So she's like, "Let's do 6-9. Let's do 6-9." So I'm
[05:51.14] About to ask, "Well, what is that?" And before I could even say
[05:55.56] Something, her hind end came boom on my head. About broke my damn
[05:59.92] Nose. I can't breathe. I'm like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." She hit me
[06:04.42] With four farts right on the side of the damn face. That's a true
[06:08.83] Story. She farted on my damn face four times. Pissed me off. She
[06:13.31] Almost knocked the truck out of gear. I'm all mad. She's like, "
[06:17.77] Ain't you having fun?" I'm like, "Yeah, but I ain't gonna sit through
[06:22.12] 65 More of them daggone things." Man, I could barely handle the
[06:26.63] Four that come out. They ought to change that position to 3 is what
[06:31.03] They ought to do. I can handle three of them, not 69 of them. Yeah
[06:35.88]
[00:04.73] Cabinet and then when we fellers opened up the medicine cabinet
[00:09.28] Razor blades and toothbrushes and all kinds of stuff hit us in the
[00:13.63] Head. I was with this one girl and she was cramping up or something
[00:18.10] And that's a horrible thing. I don't know how y'all do that but you
[00:22.52] Should use it to your advantage though. You know what I mean? You get
[00:26.93] Pulled over, "Can I see your license?" "I'm cramping." "Oh, get the
[00:31.48] Hell out of here. Get out of here. Go on. I only got one bullet."
[00:35.87] But she was cramping so I went to get her some aspirin out the
[00:40.26] Daggone medicine cabinet and opened up that medicine cabinet and a
[00:44.79] Tampon float out of there, hit me in the eyeball, landed in the
[00:49.13] Toilet and when it hit the water it went . I'm like, "Look at the
[00:53.67] Size of that thing right there. You need to buy a smaller size or
[00:58.06] Something. That's where the cramps are coming from right there. No
[01:02.55] Wonder I can't satisfy you no more." Good Lord. Good Lord, look at
[01:06.93] The sight. You got a pull string rubber raft in between your legs
[01:11.35] When you're walking around. How can you survive? It's too bad the
[01:15.85] Titanic didn't sink on the 28th day of the month. Could have thrown
[01:20.20] Some tampons in there, sopped up a lot of that water there. Saved
[01:24.76] Some lives with the tampon sopping. That's right. Broke up with a
[01:29.17] Girl not long ago over religious reasons. I'm Baptist, she was a
[01:33.51] Bitch, you know, so we had to... It just didn't work out and I loved
[01:38.08] Her too. This is the only girl I ever made love to with my pants
[01:42.45] Completely down, alright? I mean we had, we had a special bond right
[01:46.91] There but it didn't work out. I always hate it when a girl always
[01:51.33] Said to you, "Let's just be friends." And God bless you, you don't
[01:55.71] Want to hurt her feelings but don't say, "Let's just be friends."
[02:00.27] That's like your mom telling you the dog died but you can still keep
[02:04.69] It if you want to. I'll tell you what you need to do though. You need
[02:09.19] To be, nowadays, you need to be protected and that's why I'm here
[02:13.59] Tonight to shed the news of wearing rubbers and I always try to do a
[02:17.93] Good deed everywhere I can. But I tell you what, I'm sick and tired
[02:22.44] Of buying them because it's embarrassing. I mean you come in treating
[02:26.88] Small, medium, large. There ain't no feller in here buying a damn
[02:31.35] Medium rubber, I'll tell you that right now. It's embarrassing
[02:35.74] I know I ain't. It's embarrassing. I'm always at the 7-Eleven buying
[02:40.10] Rubbers. People walk in, I'm like, "Oh, forget what you got up there
[02:44.69] Got a couple of trash can liners in the back back there somewhere?
[02:49.02] Put a couple of twisty ties in there while you're at it there or
[02:53.58] Something there." But they got these rubbers that's imported from
[02:57.95] Australia. I don't know if you've seen these or not. This was on the
[03:02.32] 60 Minutes. They're made out of lambskin. Have you heard about these?
[03:06.81] This is a true story. 16 different sizes. I mean you can get fitted
[03:11.22] For them. And so I went down to get fitted for these and they give
[03:15.79] You a piece of plywood with 16 holes drilled in there to see what
[03:20.17] Size you are. This is a true story. I seen it on TV. They thought of
[03:24.55] Everything. It's well sanded and everything. I mean they got it all
[03:29.04] Worked out. So I go in there for a couple hours and I come out
[03:33.41] I was like, "Forget the rubbers. What do y'all want for the board
[03:37.95] You got in there? Get her done." You need to be safe though because
[03:42.30] There's a lot of girls you meet that are kind of kinky and that's
[03:46.78] Irritating because I ain't into all that. I'll tell you this. Here's
[03:51.26] About as bad as I get. I like two girls at the same time and that's
[03:55.68] Only because I need a spotter, alright? I do. I got one heck of a
[04:00.14] Dismount, I'll tell you right now. It's pretty good. Kind of a back
[04:04.58] Flip, half twist. It's really nice. Alls I care about is if they move
[04:08.92] Or not. That's what I care about. I used to date, this one girl I
[04:13.45] Was with never even moved. I had to make love to her on an air hockey
[04:17.86] Table all the time and it's not, every time I get into the rhythm I
[04:22.31] Have to stop, put quarters in. It sucked. They finally throwed us
[04:26.75] Out of Chuck E. Cheese after a couple weeks in there but they were
[04:31.15] Pissed too. They were like, "You get your girlfriend, get her in a
[04:35.63] Wheelchair and get the hell out of here. We've had it with you people
[04:40.08] In here." Well, you got an air hockey table. What do you want me to
[04:44.54] Do? But they got a lot of all that kinky stuff out there which I
[04:48.99] Ain't much into and I'll tell you what irritates me. I was at the
[04:53.32] Mall at the bookstore and they had some sort of a medical book or
[04:57.84] Something at the book and it showed different sexual positions and
[05:02.28] That kind of irritated me because kids go in the mall. They can pick
[05:06.75] Up any book they want and you shouldn't have that in there for kids
[05:11.13] It irritated me and I bought them and got them the hell out of there
[05:15.53] You know, because I'm all about the kids up here. But there was one
[05:20.08] Position in there I'm gonna talk to you about and I won't get too
[05:24.46] Graphic on it but it's a 6-9. You know what that is. I ain't gonna
[05:28.95] Talk no more about it, alright? But I remember, I'm telling you
[05:33.37] This to tell you my experience. First time that ever happened to
[05:37.72] Me, this girl goes, "I wanna do 6-9. I wanna do 6-9." I went, "
[05:42.21] Whatever. Get me a beer. I don't even know what it is." You know
[05:46.61] What I mean? So she's like, "Let's do 6-9. Let's do 6-9." So I'm
[05:51.14] About to ask, "Well, what is that?" And before I could even say
[05:55.56] Something, her hind end came boom on my head. About broke my damn
[05:59.92] Nose. I can't breathe. I'm like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh." She hit me
[06:04.42] With four farts right on the side of the damn face. That's a true
[06:08.83] Story. She farted on my damn face four times. Pissed me off. She
[06:13.31] Almost knocked the truck out of gear. I'm all mad. She's like, "
[06:17.77] Ain't you having fun?" I'm like, "Yeah, but I ain't gonna sit through
[06:22.12] 65 More of them daggone things." Man, I could barely handle the
[06:26.63] Four that come out. They ought to change that position to 3 is what
[06:31.03] They ought to do. I can handle three of them, not 69 of them. Yeah
[06:35.88]