Bad, Bad Things [Explicit]
๐ต 2680 characters
โฑ๏ธ 5:48 duration
๐ ID: 30626513
๐ Lyrics
My friend Kevin just told me that he has cancer
And I know there was nothing funny about that
But it was the way he said it
Oh, man
My cousin and I used to be really close, like really close
But then last Thanksgiving, he caught me having sex with his girlfriend
And we haven't spoken since
I'm sure he'll get over it eventually, though
You know, I mean, he's only 12
Wait, you know what? I fucked that joke up, I told it wrong
It makes me sound like a pervert, she wore makeup
Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
Like whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
I play it smart, you guys
And I always, and I mean always, automatically assume that she's got herpes
Because then that way, I don't have to tell her about my herpes
I once got a hand job from a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder
It was the best minute of my life
And then the worst 11
One of my best friends, uh, Don, called me up last night
He goes, Anthony, I got a prostitute in my apartment
No money to pay her, and can you help me out?
I said, fine, just this once, you can borrow my shovel
My friend Don is like amazing at picking up women
You know what I mean?
And he's not charismatic, he's not handsome, he's not hilarious
He's none of the things that I am
But he will just go to like a public place
You know what I mean, like a park or something
He'll walk up to a girl, and he'll be like, hey, what's your name?
Olga
Wait, what?
Olga
Olg? Like old with the "G"
He'll go anywhere, he'll go to like
He'll go to like a park, like a public place
And he'll be like hey what's your name
Karina
Karina, that's a great name
And he'll take out a sketch pad
And again, he's not even a good artist, he's nothing
He'll sketch you
He'll sketch you, Karina, in like 20 seconds and hand it to you
And go, here, Karina, this is for you
Now, if you don't give me your phone number, this is what you're gonna look like
And it works
Unless your name is Olg
That's his kryptonite
I once mowed the lawn at a battered women's shelter
If you know what I mean
Before we started dating, my girlfriend was involved in an abusive relationship
And she hated to talk about it
In fact, for the first year we were together
I thought she just really hated high-fives
I'm starting to suspect that my new brother-in-law has been beating my sister lately
Like, I haven't seen any bruises or anything
I don't have any proof
But I went over there for dinner last weekend, and her cooking has gotten much better
So you tell me
And I know, like, I understand it's not funny, it's not cool to joke about domestic violence
I get it, but
Could you guys imagine how amazing domestic violence would be if everyone knew karate?
And I know there was nothing funny about that
But it was the way he said it
Oh, man
My cousin and I used to be really close, like really close
But then last Thanksgiving, he caught me having sex with his girlfriend
And we haven't spoken since
I'm sure he'll get over it eventually, though
You know, I mean, he's only 12
Wait, you know what? I fucked that joke up, I told it wrong
It makes me sound like a pervert, she wore makeup
Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
Like whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
I play it smart, you guys
And I always, and I mean always, automatically assume that she's got herpes
Because then that way, I don't have to tell her about my herpes
I once got a hand job from a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder
It was the best minute of my life
And then the worst 11
One of my best friends, uh, Don, called me up last night
He goes, Anthony, I got a prostitute in my apartment
No money to pay her, and can you help me out?
I said, fine, just this once, you can borrow my shovel
My friend Don is like amazing at picking up women
You know what I mean?
And he's not charismatic, he's not handsome, he's not hilarious
He's none of the things that I am
But he will just go to like a public place
You know what I mean, like a park or something
He'll walk up to a girl, and he'll be like, hey, what's your name?
Olga
Wait, what?
Olga
Olg? Like old with the "G"
He'll go anywhere, he'll go to like
He'll go to like a park, like a public place
And he'll be like hey what's your name
Karina
Karina, that's a great name
And he'll take out a sketch pad
And again, he's not even a good artist, he's nothing
He'll sketch you
He'll sketch you, Karina, in like 20 seconds and hand it to you
And go, here, Karina, this is for you
Now, if you don't give me your phone number, this is what you're gonna look like
And it works
Unless your name is Olg
That's his kryptonite
I once mowed the lawn at a battered women's shelter
If you know what I mean
Before we started dating, my girlfriend was involved in an abusive relationship
And she hated to talk about it
In fact, for the first year we were together
I thought she just really hated high-fives
I'm starting to suspect that my new brother-in-law has been beating my sister lately
Like, I haven't seen any bruises or anything
I don't have any proof
But I went over there for dinner last weekend, and her cooking has gotten much better
So you tell me
And I know, like, I understand it's not funny, it's not cool to joke about domestic violence
I get it, but
Could you guys imagine how amazing domestic violence would be if everyone knew karate?
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.34] My friend Kevin just told me that he has cancer
[00:05.08] And I know there was nothing funny about that
[00:09.15] But it was the way he said it
[00:24.83] Oh, man
[00:26.73] My cousin and I used to be really close, like really close
[00:31.88] But then last Thanksgiving, he caught me having sex with his girlfriend
[00:35.06] And we haven't spoken since
[00:37.55] I'm sure he'll get over it eventually, though
[00:39.27] You know, I mean, he's only 12
[00:49.32] Wait, you know what? I fucked that joke up, I told it wrong
[00:52.21] It makes me sound like a pervert, she wore makeup
[01:05.21] Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
[01:07.34] Like whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
[01:09.26] I play it smart, you guys
[01:11.03] And I always, and I mean always, automatically assume that she's got herpes
[01:17.72] Because then that way, I don't have to tell her about my herpes
[01:32.43] I once got a hand job from a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder
[01:39.81] It was the best minute of my life
[01:46.27] And then the worst 11
[02:01.12] One of my best friends, uh, Don, called me up last night
[02:05.73] He goes, Anthony, I got a prostitute in my apartment
[02:08.83] No money to pay her, and can you help me out?
[02:13.28] I said, fine, just this once, you can borrow my shovel
[02:28.35] My friend Don is like amazing at picking up women
[02:31.50] You know what I mean?
[02:31.95] And he's not charismatic, he's not handsome, he's not hilarious
[02:36.29] He's none of the things that I am
[02:39.97] But he will just go to like a public place
[02:41.79] You know what I mean, like a park or something
[02:43.08] He'll walk up to a girl, and he'll be like, hey, what's your name?
[02:46.00] Olga
[02:46.83] Wait, what?
[02:50.47] Olga
[02:51.76] Olg? Like old with the "G"
[03:01.26] He'll go anywhere, he'll go to like
[03:11.81] He'll go to like a park, like a public place
[03:19.04] And he'll be like hey what's your name
[03:21.62] Karina
[03:22.77] Karina, that's a great name
[03:26.81] And he'll take out a sketch pad
[03:28.15] And again, he's not even a good artist, he's nothing
[03:30.68] He'll sketch you
[03:32.43] He'll sketch you, Karina, in like 20 seconds and hand it to you
[03:36.09] And go, here, Karina, this is for you
[03:37.95] Now, if you don't give me your phone number, this is what you're gonna look like
[03:49.96] And it works
[03:52.41] Unless your name is Olg
[03:55.98] That's his kryptonite
[04:14.27] I once mowed the lawn at a battered women's shelter
[04:19.59] If you know what I mean
[04:32.52] Before we started dating, my girlfriend was involved in an abusive relationship
[04:36.40] And she hated to talk about it
[04:38.13] In fact, for the first year we were together
[04:40.99] I thought she just really hated high-fives
[04:58.86] I'm starting to suspect that my new brother-in-law has been beating my sister lately
[05:03.42] Like, I haven't seen any bruises or anything
[05:05.34] I don't have any proof
[05:07.26] But I went over there for dinner last weekend, and her cooking has gotten much better
[05:16.60] So you tell me
[05:19.51] And I know, like, I understand it's not funny, it's not cool to joke about domestic violence
[05:24.84] I get it, but
[05:28.50] Could you guys imagine how amazing domestic violence would be if everyone knew karate?
[05:38.34]
[00:05.08] And I know there was nothing funny about that
[00:09.15] But it was the way he said it
[00:24.83] Oh, man
[00:26.73] My cousin and I used to be really close, like really close
[00:31.88] But then last Thanksgiving, he caught me having sex with his girlfriend
[00:35.06] And we haven't spoken since
[00:37.55] I'm sure he'll get over it eventually, though
[00:39.27] You know, I mean, he's only 12
[00:49.32] Wait, you know what? I fucked that joke up, I told it wrong
[00:52.21] It makes me sound like a pervert, she wore makeup
[01:05.21] Whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
[01:07.34] Like whenever I'm about to have sex with a girl
[01:09.26] I play it smart, you guys
[01:11.03] And I always, and I mean always, automatically assume that she's got herpes
[01:17.72] Because then that way, I don't have to tell her about my herpes
[01:32.43] I once got a hand job from a girl with obsessive compulsive disorder
[01:39.81] It was the best minute of my life
[01:46.27] And then the worst 11
[02:01.12] One of my best friends, uh, Don, called me up last night
[02:05.73] He goes, Anthony, I got a prostitute in my apartment
[02:08.83] No money to pay her, and can you help me out?
[02:13.28] I said, fine, just this once, you can borrow my shovel
[02:28.35] My friend Don is like amazing at picking up women
[02:31.50] You know what I mean?
[02:31.95] And he's not charismatic, he's not handsome, he's not hilarious
[02:36.29] He's none of the things that I am
[02:39.97] But he will just go to like a public place
[02:41.79] You know what I mean, like a park or something
[02:43.08] He'll walk up to a girl, and he'll be like, hey, what's your name?
[02:46.00] Olga
[02:46.83] Wait, what?
[02:50.47] Olga
[02:51.76] Olg? Like old with the "G"
[03:01.26] He'll go anywhere, he'll go to like
[03:11.81] He'll go to like a park, like a public place
[03:19.04] And he'll be like hey what's your name
[03:21.62] Karina
[03:22.77] Karina, that's a great name
[03:26.81] And he'll take out a sketch pad
[03:28.15] And again, he's not even a good artist, he's nothing
[03:30.68] He'll sketch you
[03:32.43] He'll sketch you, Karina, in like 20 seconds and hand it to you
[03:36.09] And go, here, Karina, this is for you
[03:37.95] Now, if you don't give me your phone number, this is what you're gonna look like
[03:49.96] And it works
[03:52.41] Unless your name is Olg
[03:55.98] That's his kryptonite
[04:14.27] I once mowed the lawn at a battered women's shelter
[04:19.59] If you know what I mean
[04:32.52] Before we started dating, my girlfriend was involved in an abusive relationship
[04:36.40] And she hated to talk about it
[04:38.13] In fact, for the first year we were together
[04:40.99] I thought she just really hated high-fives
[04:58.86] I'm starting to suspect that my new brother-in-law has been beating my sister lately
[05:03.42] Like, I haven't seen any bruises or anything
[05:05.34] I don't have any proof
[05:07.26] But I went over there for dinner last weekend, and her cooking has gotten much better
[05:16.60] So you tell me
[05:19.51] And I know, like, I understand it's not funny, it's not cool to joke about domestic violence
[05:24.84] I get it, but
[05:28.50] Could you guys imagine how amazing domestic violence would be if everyone knew karate?
[05:38.34]