Main Street Blues

The butcher and the baker and the undertaker
The butler and the barber too
The boy without a liver and the Indian giver
They've all got the Main Street Blues

The lovers and the lawyer and the self-employer
Were in the foyer sniffin' glue
Discussin' with a Russian who was munchin' on a muffin
All about the Main Street Blues

And it's oh Lordy me
And oh Lordy my
This little town
Keeps bustling on by

The tailor and the teller and the snowball seller
The preacher in his prison shoes
They're all tryin' to figure how to get rid of
Those awful Main Street Blues

Joan got a loan and moved to Catahoula
Got a house out on Johnson's Bayou
She swears she'll have it made if she can manage to evade
Those melancholy Main Street Blues

The mediocre actor left his Paw Paw's tractor
To ride a bike down Sunset Avenue
The hacker and the slacker and the lazy linebacker
They've all got the Main Street Blues

And it's oh Lordy me
And oh Lordy my
This little town
Keeps bustling on by

The promoter's got an odor like a day-old floater
And a pencil with a pad of blue
He's scribblin' down ways to emancipate the days
From those awful Main Street Blues