Dumb Things

I'm really into astrology, you guys. I'm super into it. Like what sign
Are you, sir? Aries. Ha ha ha ha. The sign of the goat. What sign are
You, dude? Virgo. Ha ha, the goat! And what about, what about you
Ma'am? Pisces. Goat. That's the whole bit. Can you believe I wrote
That down? Like that'll be a good thing. Usually the first one
Isn't correct. Like usually the joke happens quicker 'cause the
First one's wrong. 'Cause Aries actually is the goat, right? He
This guy doesn't even know. That is so gay. Can you imagine being
Called gay for not knowing about astrology? Doesn't make any sense

You do dumb things when you're high. Like agree to go on CNN
Have you ever done this one? You're waiting for an elevator
Waiting for an elevator, waiting for an elevator, like ten minutes
Goes by. And then you're like, "Oh, maybe I should push this button
That might move the process along. Lot of elevators work on
Instinct, but apparently, this one needs to be summoned. I'm a
Snooty elevator. You've gotta call me before you can get in me."
I said that joke at Charlotte, one of the Carolinas, and two
Dudes in the audience, two different dudes in the audience go
"That's what she said." Jinx, you both owe each other Cokes