A Day in Richard's Life - from "Galavant"

XANAX: Close your eyes...
Open your mind...
Your journey's about to begin.
Relax your karma,
And try not to barf
As the universe starts to spin.
Hocus Pocus!
Expialadocious!
Set your aura free!
Petrificus totalis!
Drink deeply from the chalice!
Tell us what you see!
KING RICHARD: I see... a door.
XANAX: Go through it.
KNIGHT: The King is dead!
Long live the King!
ASSEMBLY: The King is dead!
Long live the King!
KNIGHT: Where is his son
Who'll inherit everything?
CHEF: Is that you, Sire? So handsome.
KING RICHARD: No. That's my much older brother, Kingsley.
YOUNG RICHARD: I can't see anything!
EVERYONE: Shut up, you.
YOUNG RICHARD: I can't see—
LITERALLY EVERYONE: Shut up!
CHEF: Oh dear.
KING RICHARD: I ate my feelings. And a lot of bread.
ASSEMBLY: The sword, Your Highness.
Here's the royal sword!
KINGSLEY: No one gives me anything.
ASSEMBLY: To be the king, you must receive the sword!
KINGSLEY: If I want something, I take it.
And I don't want to be any king.
QUEEN MARGARET: Oh, but Kingsley, it's your destiny.
We literally named you Kingsley.
God told us to. It's not like we were being trendy.
KINGSLEY: My destiny lies beyond the castle walls, Mother.
I'm going to conquer and kill and spread bastard children throughout the land like wildlower seeds.
Somebody else can sit on their arse and rule.
QUEEN MARGARET: But who?
ASSEMBLY: Who?
KNIGHT: But who?
ASSEMBLY: Who?
QUEEN MARGARET/KNIGHT/ASSEMBLY: But whooooo?
YOUNG RICHARD:(Farts)
KNIGHT: Brilliant. Gareth?
GARETH: Aye?
KNIGHT: You shall be the King's guard.
YOUNG GARETH: I'm only ten, but... all right.
I'm Gareth, and I will faithfully serve you, my King.
ASSEMBLY: The sword, Your Highness,
Here's the royal sword.
To be the king, you must—
KINGSLEY: Actually, I think I will take the sword.
YOUNG RICHARD: But it's the King's sword, and I'm the king.
KINGSLEY: Fine, if you want it then by all means,
Take it from me.