A Boozehound Named Barney

It's eight o'clock, children, time for bed
But we're not sleepy
Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins
Yes, sing us a song
I've been singing you songs all day, I'm not a bloody jukebox
Oh, all right

In front of a tavern
Flat on his face
A boozehound named Barney
Is pleading his case

Buy me a beer
Two bucks a glass
Come on, help me
I'm freezing my ass
Buy me brandy
A snifter of wine
Who am I kidding
I'll drink turpentine

Move it, you drunk
Or I'll blast your rear end
I've found two bucks
Then come in, my friend

And so, let us leave
On this heartwarming scene
Can I be a boozehound
Not till you're fifteen