I'll Never Be Jealous Again

Hinesy, Hinesy, Hinesy, Hinesy

I've learned my lesson, Mabel. I'll never be jealous again

You stick to it, now

Absolutely

That's easier said than done

I can do it

I knew it
But let's take an example
Just for fun
(Spoken)
Come on, baby, come on here

An example? I'm not sure I like the sound of that

Sit down
(Sung)
Picture this
You're sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

There I am
I'm sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

Here she comes
Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

Here she comes
Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

Later on
She gets a bouquet with a card in it saying
"To baby, you were great!"
(Spoken)
Well, Hinesy, what would you do then?

I would trust her

Yes!

I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous again

Very good, Hinesy

See, it's mind over matter

But I'm not finished. Come on, let's take another example

I don't have all the time in the world here

You got all the time I need, baby, don't worry about it
(Sung)
Picture this
You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for a while

There I am
With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for a while

Something's up
The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

Something's up
The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

Then you see
A shirt and a tie and a pair of pants
In a nice, neat, little pile
(Spoken)
Well, Hinesy?

I would trust her
I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous
I'll never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never
Never be jealous again

That's the stuff, Hinesy! You're practically cured

There will be no more nightmares to sleep through
No more keyholes to peep through

No more bushes to creep through

That's my plan

Well, now that you're a new man
Picture this

Bring it on

You go to your sweetie's apartment
You borrow the keys

There I am
I go to my sweetie's apartment
I borrow the keys

There she is
She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

There she is
She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

Then, to boot
She tells you she was in the arms of her cousin
Who's back from overseas

Her cousin?

Yes

From overseas?

Uh huh

Do you expect me to believe that? I was not born yesterday

Hinesy!

I would trust her
I would trust her
By George, I swear I would trust her
No, I'll never be jealous
I'll never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never
Never, never, never, never
Never be jealous again

Oh, I'm so proud of you!

Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!