Intro II

(American astronauts will explore the moon)
(When they do)
(Their lives will depend on a mobile)
(And self-sustaining life support system)
(Called the Apollo Extravehicular Mobility Unit)
(The system is one of several spacesuit designs)
(Being developed for the needs of manned exploration beyond Earth)

What the fuck is up, bitch
The year is 4069
And marijuana has gone extinct once again
The earth, ravaged by nuclear war
Cannot sustain the crop
NASA has called upon their smartest and most handsome astronaut
To travel to the planet Jupiter
And plant the last ten cannibis seeds in existence
Because that's why they call it
A gas giant

You'll find your spacesuit has a built-in bong
For ultimate weed-ripping capabilities
There are no bathrooms
So you will be provided a thousand diapers
To contain your peepee, poopoo, and diarrhea
We will send you the last pound of weed known to man
You will give this to the aliens as an offering to their altar
The idol they worship is a massive bong
Made entirely of flesh and gore
A total cocophony of death stench
Known only as the Intergalactic Gore Bong of Death Pot

If you notice your IQ will start to drop
Don't be alarmed
This is normal
The planet Jupiter
Has always been known to make people stupider
Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about this
And you will just have to live with it

Just be thankful we didn't send you to Venus

As the humans of Earth await your return
All fate hangs in the balance
The cosmic balance of the universe must be restored
You are the earth's last hope
The fate of mankind rests in your hands
You must save the world again
By smoking weed
Again